When was the last time you and your partner did something purely for fun? Not productive, not logistical, not about the kids, just fun.
If you had to think about it for a beat, you’re not alone. Most long-term couples slowly drift from enjoying each other to managing life together, and fun is usually the first thing to quietly disappear.
In this episode, we’re talking about why couples lose the fun, why it matters way more than most people realize, and 5 surprisingly simple ways to bring it back.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
- Why fun is one of the most underrated forms of intimacy (and how it actually builds resilience, attraction, and friendship)
- The IG poll results that show just how universal this is. Only 21% of our community said they have a lot of fun in their relationship
- The most common things that get in the way of fun, from kids and money stress to “we honestly just forget”
- The reframe that helps you find more time for fun.
If you’ve been feeling more like roommates than romantic partners lately, this episode is a gentle reminder that it’s possible to bring back the fun.
Want more fun, connection, and intimacy in your relationship every single month?
The Spark is our $9/month subscription designed to keep playfulness, curiosity, and closeness alive in your relationship.
- Fresh prompts, date ideas, and conversation starters delivered monthly
- Designed for real couples with real lives, not just the honeymoon phase
- Easy to fit in, impossible to ignore
- Only $9/month, less than a latte and way better for your relationship
Check out The Spark
Links & Resources
Stay Connected
Follow us on Instagram @vanessaandxander
Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame
Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
If you’re enjoying Pillow Talks, subscribing and leaving a review makes a huge difference — it helps more people find the show and actually improve their sex lives. We appreciate every single one.



