Tie-Breakers: We Referee Your Realest Relationship Standoffs

July 16, 2026

#269

Every couple has that one thing they’ll argue about until the end of time. TV in the bedroom. How to load the dishwasher. Can men and women just be friends? 👀

We asked our community to send us the disagreements they just can’t seem to settle with their partner, and today we’re weighing in as your official referees.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

  • Is oral foreplay or the main event?
  • If the pet falls asleep on your lap, are you officially off chore duty?
  • Can men and women really be just friends? Our take.
  • Who gets the final say when it comes to grooming and body hair?

Want more fun, flirting, and connection with your partner every single month?

The Spark is our monthly membership full of playful, low-pressure ways to keep things exciting, no matter how different the two of you are.

  • Fresh sweet & spicy date ideas, conversation starters, and intimacy prompts every month
  • Simple ways to reconnect, even on your busiest weeks
  • Something you can actually look forward to doing together without having to plan a thing

Check out The Spark here

Stay Connected

Follow us on Instagram @vanessaandxander

Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame 

Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!

If you’re enjoying Pillow Talks, subscribing and leaving a review makes a huge difference — it helps more people find the show and actually improve their sex lives. We appreciate every single one.

Also listen on

hey there!