I want 2019 to be the year that you create an exceptional sex life.
I want you to feel more confident in the bedroom. Like you can be yourself, fully and unapologetically.
I want you to feel connected to your body and all of the pleasure that it is capable of feeling.
I want you to know what you want in the bedroom, and how to ask for it.
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Most people set personal resolutions for the year, but very few people think about making relationship resolutions. But setting goals for your relationship can be so powerful. It helps you work together as a team to keep growing and improving your relationship.
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The sad reality is that so much of what we do for our partners, and what they do for us, goes unacknowledged.
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My husband Xander has the patience of a saint.
At any time of year, but especially at the holidays. Because I tend to get a little, well, let’s just say difficult, around the holidays!
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The holidays can be really rough, especially on your relationship.
Between all the traveling, eating and drinking, family dynamics, and money spending, it’s hard to find the time, energy, or the motivation to be a good partner.
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Last week I gave you an idea for talking about sex for the very first time with your partner.
This week, I want to give you an idea for your second conversation: talking to your partner about approaching your sex life as a team.
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I’m Xander – Vanessa’s husband.
I’ll be sharing four stories about communication struggles Vanessa has had with me, and how we’ve learned to deal with them as a couple.
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Just a quick reminder that TODAY is the last day to take advantage of my Black Friday/Cyber Monday deal!
If you purchase my brand new masterclass, How To Ask For What You Want In The Bedroom (And Even Know What You Want In The First Place!) for only $49, you’ll unlock a $100 discount that you can use on any of my online courses!
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“What do you want?” He asked me.
I cringed. I panicked. I pretended I hadn’t heard him.
Inside, I was thinking, “I have no freaking clue!”
But I would have been mortified to say that out loud. So I said nothing, and prayed he wouldn’t repeat the question…
I hate to admit it, but this little scene played itself out many times over many years. You see, I knew how to orgasm on my own, but for a very long time, I didn’t know how to get there with a partner.
With my very first partner, I did try to give instructions. I would ask for oral sex. I would ask him to move his hand a little to the right. I would ask for more pressure.
But if he did what I asked, and it didn’t immediately feel wildly more pleasurable than whatever he had been doing before my request, I would feel deeply self-conscious. I would feel like a failure. I would feel ashamed for having even asked him to do something for me in the first place.
I very quickly learned to stop asking for things in the bedroom.
I didn’t know it at the time, but I was making an enormous mistake. A mistake that you’re probably making in your own sex life.
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