The sad reality is that so much of what we do for our partners, and what they do for us, goes unacknowledged.Read More
My husband Xander has the patience of a saint.
At any time of year, but especially at the holidays. Because I tend to get a little, well, let’s just say difficult, around the holidays!Read More
The holidays can be really rough, especially on your relationship.
Between all the traveling, eating and drinking, family dynamics, and money spending, it’s hard to find the time, energy, or the motivation to be a good partner.Read More
Last week I gave you an idea for talking about sex for the very first time with your partner.
This week, I want to give you an idea for your second conversation: talking to your partner about approaching your sex life as a team.Read More
I’m Xander – Vanessa’s husband.
I’ll be sharing four stories about communication struggles Vanessa has had with me, and how we’ve learned to deal with them as a couple.Read More
Just a quick reminder that TODAY is the last day to take advantage of my Black Friday/Cyber Monday deal!
If you purchase my brand new masterclass, How To Ask For What You Want In The Bedroom (And Even Know What You Want In The First Place!) for only $49, you’ll unlock a $100 discount that you can use on any of my online courses!Read More
“What do you want?” He asked me.
I cringed. I panicked. I pretended I hadn’t heard him.
Inside, I was thinking, “I have no freaking clue!”
But I would have been mortified to say that out loud. So I said nothing, and prayed he wouldn’t repeat the question…
I hate to admit it, but this little scene played itself out many times over many years. You see, I knew how to orgasm on my own, but for a very long time, I didn’t know how to get there with a partner.
With my very first partner, I did try to give instructions. I would ask for oral sex. I would ask him to move his hand a little to the right. I would ask for more pressure.
But if he did what I asked, and it didn’t immediately feel wildly more pleasurable than whatever he had been doing before my request, I would feel deeply self-conscious. I would feel like a failure. I would feel ashamed for having even asked him to do something for me in the first place.
I very quickly learned to stop asking for things in the bedroom.
I didn’t know it at the time, but I was making an enormous mistake. A mistake that you’re probably making in your own sex life.Read More
If you’re like most people, asking for what you want in the bedroom is a big challenge for you. You might not even know what you want in the bedroom. You might not feel worthy of asking. You might be afraid of your partner’s reactions.
So I’ve put together a brand new masterclass to help make it easier!Read More
One of the most popular emails I ever wrote was called “Did you phub your partner last night? I did.” Phubbing is the term for when you snub your partner because you’re too distracted by your cell phone.Read More