Earlier this week, I got to participate in another Lifehacker Ask An Expert live Q&A session. I had a blast the last time I participated, and this time was just as fun!

Head on over to Lifehacker to check out the full session. The topic this time around was how to communicate about sex. Here are some of the questions I addressed:

“My husband has a much stronger/more frequent desire for intimacy than I do. Is sexual incompatibility real? How can we work on this? I know a lot of work in relationships is based on compromise. I can’t imagine a good way to compromise here; it’s difficult to get into the mood if I’m really not feeling it and equally difficult for him to not feel let down.”

“How can I encourage [my introverted boyfriend] to chat with me about what feels good and what types of scenarios/playtime fun he might be interested in?”

“My girlfriend likes to be silly in bed which is fine sometimes but other times is a turn off. How do I talk to her about keeping things fun but being conscience of when what she’s doing becomes a drag?”

“[H]ow important is sex early on in a relationship? If it doesn’t go well after 2-3 tries are people inclined to give up and assume the chemistry isn’t there?”

“[A]ny tips for communicating effectively about a lack of desire to have sex? My partner’s interest in sex has dropped off drastically over the past several years. – leaving me feeling frustrated and unwanted.”

 

So many of the questions mentioned sexual compatibility, so I also want to share an article that I recently wrote for XoJane called “How to Gauge Your Compatibility So You Don’t End Up in a Sexless Relationship” In the article, I go over specific qualities to look for in a partner, including their openness to talking about sex, willingness to put in an effort, and ability to seek feedback. Read the full piece on XoJane, and let me know what you think in the comments!