Welcome to The Weekend Sexperiment! Each Friday, I alternate between The Weekend Sexperiment and Reader’s Request Fridays. In TWS posts, I offer a simple sex therapy homework assignment to try out over the weekend. Some experiments are geared towards couples, but others are suitable for single folks. As always, please feel free to contact me if you have a certain topic you’d like to see covered. If you’re interested in counseling, call (415) 658-5738 or visit my Appointments page to schedule a consultation.

Most of us tend not to think about how much pleasure we are experiencing unless it is very strong. We notice feeling pleasure in a great back rub or on the verge of orgasm.

Of course, both of those things feel very good. But if we neglect the smaller nuances of pleasure, we’re missing out on a great deal.

There’s an immense amount of pleasure to be had in devouring a cupcake, feeling the sun on your skin, or listening to the wind rustle the leaves of a tree.

We all have the capacity to feel so much more pleasure than we currently do. Our days are filled with opportunities to feel more pleasure. We just have to be willing to recognize and accept the invitations!

Pleasure is also funny in that the more you actively pay attention to it, the stronger is becomes.

Think back to one of your first great sexual experiences with a new partner. Chances are you spent much of the encounter thinking, “wow this feels good!”, or “oh this is so hot!”. Simply noticing those feelings and reveling in them in the moment probably made them feel even more intense.

This weekend, track your level of pleasure throughout the day. Think of a 1-10 scale, where 1 is not at all aroused, and 10 is pure ecstasy.

Check in with yourself as many times as you can – when you’re waking up, drinking coffee, taking a shower, watching TV, surfing the internet, walking down the street, kissing your partner, talking on the phone, petting your cat, and so on.

See if you can find more pleasure in some of the smaller, more mundane parts of your day. Try to simply notice and name where you are, without getting too much into your head.

You can also experiment with tracking your levels of sexual pleasure during a private sexual experience.

Try touching different areas of your body and see how you would rate that touch. For example, touching your calf might be a 2, but caressing your breast might be a 5. Try different types of strokes and notice how those feel.

Experiment with masturbating and noticing your fluctuations in pleasure throughout the experience. Your “ratings” will change constantly, but the idea is to get yourself focused on the here-and-now feelings of pleasure.

Hope you have a pleasure-filled weekend!