January is all about new beginnings. While you’re thinking about your goals for 2018, don’t forget to spend some time evaluating your sex life. Here are seven idea to spice up your sex life in the new year!

Ban Your Standby

Most of us default to doing the same activity in bed. For heterosexual couples, it’s typically intercourse. Gay and lesbian couples tend to default to intercourse, toy play, oral sex, or manual stimulation.

All of these activities are a lot of fun! But many of us get into ruts where we just do our standby activity, and forget about all of the other sexy things that you can do with another naked person.

Bust out of your rut and challenge yourself to be more creative by banning your standby activity for a set period of time. Try a few weeks, or even an entire month! During that time, you can do anything except that one activity.

Try Mutual Masturbation

In my opinion, mutual masturbation is one of the most underrated sexual activities.

If you’ve never tried it before, the name is pretty self-explanatory – you and your partner both masturbate at the same time. You can also take turns watching each other masturbate.

It’s extremely hot to watch another person pleasure themselves. You can also learn a lot about what your partner likes. Where do they touch themselves? What techniques do they use? How much speed and pressure do they use? Likewise, they can check out your technique.

You’ll both learn how to pleasure each other better, while still enjoying the thrill of watching each other do something you normally only ever do in private.

Check Out The Backdoor

Anal play became a whole lot less taboo in 2017. More and more people allowed themselves to experiment with the joys of the butt. If you haven’t jumped on the anal train, make 2018 your year!

Anal play feels incredible. You have nerve endings in your rectum and around your anus, so there’s just no getting around the fact that it feels good.

It’s also much cleaner than most people realize. As long as you take a shower beforehand or use a baby wipe, you’ll be good to go.

And this should go without saying, but if you identify as straight, exploring anal play doesn’t say anything about your sexual orientation.

If you’re shy, start by having your partner press a lubed-up fingertip against the edge of your anus while they perform oral or manual sex. They don’t even need to push their finger inside; just a tiny bit of pressure can feel fantastic. Once you get more comfortable, deeper penetration with a single finger can feel incredible.

If you’re a man, you can also explore prostate stimulation, which your partner can access by stimulating the front wall of your rectum.

Another option is to check out anal toys. If you’re a man, check out LELO’s line specifically made for guys. There’s the Loki, Hugo, and Bruno.

Upgrade Your Gear

It’s time to clear out your bedside table and invest in better sex accoutrements. Here are some ideas for inspiration:

A bottle of high-quality lube is a must-have. I like Pjur Original silicone based lube and Wicked Aqua water-based lube. It’s nice to have both options on hand.

Nicer undies. Invest in soft fabrics, pretty colors, and cuts that make you feel confident.

A new sex toy. For men, try a cock ring, like the JeJoue Mio. It helps you longer in bed. If you have a female partner, it gives her some all-too-important clitoral stimulation. For women, try a new vibrator. My all-time favorite is the Minna Life Limon.

A wedge pillow to give you more options for positions, like the classic Liberator wedge.

Some basic bondage gear, like a blindfold, a light whip and a pair of restraints.

High-quality sheets.

Better bedroom lighting. Smart lightbulbs are nice because they allow you to control both the intensity and the color of the light. Candles also create a beautiful glow.

Schedule Sex

If you’re in a long-term relationship, you’re probably all too familiar with how easy it is for your sex life to fall into a rut. Many of the couples in my sex therapy practice complain about how infrequently they have sex.

One suggestion I’ve been making a lot more lately is to experiment with scheduling sex. I know a lot of people think of scheduled sex as a buzzkill, but it can actually be quite sexy if done right.

Having a date on the calendar gives you something to look forward to, and you can prepare for it in the same way you may have prepared for your dates together when you first started dating. Take turns planning special sex dates for each other, to spice things up even more!

Pick Themed Months

Another way to spice things up in the bedroom is to assign different challenges for each month of 2018.

I mentioned the idea of banning your standby activity up top. You could do that for February. Maybe March could be your roleplaying month. April could be talking dirty. May could be experimenting with sex toys.

These challenges give you something to look forward to, and keep things fresh!

Schedule A Sex Therapy Session

Obviously I’m a little biased with this one since I’m a sex therapist myself, but I think everyone can benefit from sex therapy!

You don’t have to have a problem in your sex life to do sex therapy. In fact, sex therapy can be way more effective and way more fun if you go when you don’t currently have a problem! You can get new ideas for things to try in the bedroom, and get help learning how to communicate those ideas to your partner.

And if you are suffering from some sort of sex-related problem like performance anxiety, sex therapy can help ensure that 2018 is the last year you have to deal with these issues.

Ready to get started? Head on over here to book an appointment online!