How To Handle Rejection When Your Partner Says No To Sex

August 19, 2021


Anytime you ask for something you want, it’s a vulnerable experience. You’re putting yourself out there, and in the position to be turned down. Which is why initiating sex is one of the most vulnerable things we do in our relationships.

In today’s episode we are talking all about how to deal with sexual rejection, so you and your partner can feel way more confident initiating with one another.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • The evolutionary history of rejection.
  • Why it’s normal for rejection to stir up so many emotions.
  • How to determine what feelings rejection brings up for you.
  • Our best tips for navigating rejection with grace and ease.

Here’s a glance at this episode:

[3:17] Our Instagram audience’s feelings on getting turned down

[6:01] Why does rejection hurt so bad?

[9:37] What gets stirred up when you partner turns you down?

[12:02] The first step to changing how we feel after rejection

[12:51] Preparing yourself for rejection

[15:53] Learning to accept the no

[17:37] What to do with your feelings of rejection in the heat of the moment.

[23:24] Validating your feelings

[24:26] How to depersonalize rejection

[27:43] Why you should keep initiating

[36:22] Listener question: What if my partner always turns me down?

[38:52] Listener question: How do I stop feeling like it must be about me, even if my partner insists it’s not about me?

[42:49] Listener question: How can I ask him what’s going on without triggering him to be super defensive?

[45:45] Listening question: As a guy, how do I handle turning down my partner when I’m not in the mood. She says men are always supposed to be horny and then immediately takes it personally.

Links & resources

Initiation 101 Masterclass

Check out our masterclass, which includes 22 specific ideas for how to initiate with your partner and a step-by-step process for responding to your partner’s initiations, even when you feel like a “no”. Work together as a team to make initiation feel less loaded and more fun in your relationship!

Also listen on

hey there!