Did you know that 64% of people say they want more foreplay than they currently get? And most people say they wish it was part of every sexual experience.
No wonder foreplay frustrations are so common. Maybe it feels too short, too routine, or like your partner just doesn’t quite “get it.”
The truth? Foreplay isn’t just a warm-up. It’s one of the most powerful ways to feel connected, build anticipation, and experience more pleasure (especially since only 10–15% of women orgasm from intercourse alone)..
In this episode, we cover:
- Does foreplay actually count as sex?
- How to ask for more foreplay without hurting your partner’s feelings.
- Types of foreplay beyond handjobs and BJs—like massage, sensory play, toys, and even “choreplay.”
- What to do when one of you wants more foreplay and the other wants less.
- How to talk about your fantasies without feeling awkward.
- Tips for breaking out of a foreplay rut and keeping it playful.
- What to do when your favorite turn-on is your partner’s turn-off.
- And yes… whether it’s okay to not really be into foreplay at all.
Foreplay can (and should) be one of the most exciting and intimate parts of your sex life. And after this episode, you’ll have the tools to make it way more fun, connected, and satisfying for both of you.
Want more foreplay inspiration?
Check out our Ultimate Foreplay Guides. Next level techniques and step-by-step instructions, let’s just say, these guides are our #1 best-seller for a reason!
Get The Ultimate Foreplay Guides here
Stay Connected
Follow us on Instagram @vanessaandxander
Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and so many sex puns Sign up here!
Never miss an episode! Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to pods!
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It’s the sex education you wish you had!
Also listen on
