Are You Too Needy?

November 11,2021

We are socialized to feel like we shouldn’t be NEEDY, but what does that even mean? In this episode we are talking through what a need is, how to get in touch with your needs and wants, and how to express them to your partner.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Here’s a glance at this episode:

[1:07] Why being ‘needy’ is misunderstood

[6:40] How to decipher a need vs. a want/desire

[10:48] Will you die? No. Will you die INSIDE?! Maybe.

[12:08] Gender dynamics and needs/wants + poll results

[15:55] What people DON’T like when you are expressing needs/wants/desires

[18:44] How to practice asking for what you need

[20:00] Do you need something from your partner? Or do you need something from yourself?

[22:24] Tips for asking for what you want from your partner

[24:08] How to make your ask feel softer if you’re worried about saying “I want” or “I need”

[28:11] Specific requests vs. global requests

[30:20] How minimizing your needs can come across even more needy

[31:13] The hard truth about needs and wants

[32:08] Listener Question: “What’s the line between being secure in asking what you want vs. asking for too much?”

[34:58] Listener Question: “What is a need vs. what is an entitlement?”

[37:13] Listener Question: “How do I get my partner to be more needy?”

Resource

Simple Daily Check In (Free Guide)

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HI THERE!

I'm Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and writer specializing in helping you have more fun in the bedroom.

I have bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. I’m also a licensed psychotherapist. I’ve been working in the sex therapy field since 2002 and have been featured by The New York Times, O: The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, and many more.

If you’re interested in improving your sex life, you can work with me via my online courses or personal coaching sessions. I look forward to supporting you in creating the sex life you’ve always wanted!