You send us your most “I can’t believe I’m actually asking this” questions, and we live for it.
So we’re back with the third edition of Ask a Sex Therapist, going rapid-fire through as many of them as we can, with real answers, tips, and stories.
No question is too awkward, too niche, or too “is it too late to ask this at my age?”
In this episode, you’ll hear:
- What “tossed salad” actually means, because it’s never too late to ask
- How to tell if you’re about to squirt or pee, and whether squirting is even real
- Is the G-spot orgasm real? We settle it
- Sex pillows and spit as lube: the honest yes-or-no on both
- Why standing-up sex never seems to work, and how to fix it
- Why a partner might go soft when you’re on top
- Strap-ons as a tool for guys facing performance pressure
- Whether it’s worth shaking things up when your sex is already great
If you’ve ever sat on a question because it felt too weird to say out loud, consider this your permission slip. Chances are, someone else is wondering the exact same thing.
LINKS & RESOURCES
Get the TABU Pillow
Comfortable, discreet, and actually changes the angle in ways that make a big difference . We’re obsessed.
Variety is the spice of life (and your sex life)
Ultimate Sex Positions is our guide to over forty illustrated positions, with step-by-step help getting into, out of, and moving in each one.
- Over 40 positions with clear, illustrated, step-by-step guidance
- The fixes for the ones that never seem to work (standing-up sex, we see you)
- Toe-curling, bedsheet-gripping experiences built for both of you
- Plus the secret to actually craving more sex
Check out Ultimate Sex Positions
For the guys: no shame in your game
The Modern Man’s Guide to Conquering Performance Pressure gets into what’s happening in your brain and your body, so sex feels good instead of stressful.
- A holistic approach to performance anxiety and erections
- Real help for early ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, and going soft
- Build genuine confidence in your technique
- For hotter, more satisfying sex, minus the stress
Check out The Modern Man’s Guide
Stay Connected
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