Anxious? Avoidant? What Your Attachment Style Says About You (And Your Relationship)

December 9, 2021


Attachment Style Theory looks at the ways we respond to other people based on the way we responded to our earliest relationships: our relationships with our parents. In this episode we’re talking about what each style means for the people who have it, plus how the styles relate to each other.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • The three attachment styles and what they mean
  • How the styles relate to each other
  • If you can change your attachment style

Here’s a glance at this episode:

[1:07] Xander sings “The Attachment Song”

[5:08] Where attachment theory comes from

[9:44] A casual load blow

[1:10] The “anxious” attachment style

[16:51] The “avoidant” attachment style

[20:40] The “secure” attachment style

[23:59] A resource for finding your and your partner’s attachment styles (plus, our results!!)

[31:16] How the different attachment style combinations work together

[33:51] The key for the anxious + anxious pairing

[33:48] The challenge with avoidant + avoidant

[36:32] “The Secure Buffering Effect” and partnerships with a secure partner

[37:32] Why avoidant + anxious is the most challenging pairing

[40:17] Listener Question “Can You Change Your Attachment Style?”

[44:24] Listener Question “Can my style vary from relationship to relationship?”

[45:39] Listener Question “How do I not let my attachment style affect my communication with my partner during an argument?”


Quiz: What’s Your Attachment Style?

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