It’s (supposed to be) the most wonderful time of the year! The time we get together with our loved ones and celebrate each other with presents, food, and quality time.
But what happens when we start to see cracks in the perfect holiday picture we had in our mind? You and your partner start to bicker over budgets. Or maybe your mom’s disappointed that you’re going to your in-law’s this year. Or you’re just feeling like an enormous grinch this year.
The truth is that the holidays are an incredibly stressful time, and many of us get swept up by inflexible family traditions, present-giving politics, and socialized gender roles. So we’re here to help you navigate the holidays with ease and grace. There’s a lot of laughter, tons of compassion (because BOY have we had our own holiday disasters!), and as always our very best advice, all so you can have the tough conversations without losing the holiday spirit.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- The 5 main categories of holiday stressors
- Tried and true tips on how to survive together and come out stronger on the other side
- Our hot takes on listener holiday situations (reminder: always fuck first)
Here’s a glance at this episode:
[10:02] Great Expectations
[11:15] Let’s cut some tension into 5 categories
[12:30] MONEY: “Presents cost $$$ but how do we divide it?”
[16:35] TIME: “4 houses in 36 hours and I am miserable”
[19:06] FAMILY: “My partner’s family is making us sick, literally!”
[20:08] TRADITIONS: “Do you believe in magic? Or at least Santa Claus? How about Chrismukkah?”
[23:00] SEX & INTIMACY: “I’d like a gift that doesn’t come from the sex store!”
[24:24] Our personal holiday stress horror stories
[34:53] Tip #1 – What do I want the holidays to look like?
[38:00] Tip #2 – Is this feasible? Why do I want this?
[39:24] Separate logic from emotion with your partner
[43:39] Tip #3 – Announce it to the masses, but do it as a team
[46:24] People gonna people, so expect the disappointment
[50:39] Listener Questions by category
[51:33] MONEY: “Do we really have to buy presents for everyone?”
[55:51] MONEY: “I wanna spoil the kids rotten, he wants a budget”
[57:49] TIME: “Do I owe disconnected family my holiday time?”
[1:00:25] TIME: “My family plans, Your family flies by the seat of their pants”
[1:04:25] FAMILY: “Is a demanding mother in law a red flag?”
[1:12:13] TRADITIONS: “I play Santa Claus for my family because my husband never had one”
[1:16:59] SEX AND INTIMACY: “I’m trying to get things done, he’s trying to get it on”
Links & resources
Episode 4 : Mental Load: What It Is and How to Stop It from Destroying Your Relationship
Episode 27 : Your In-Law Holiday Survival Guide
Episode 30 : Sex With Other People…Around
A Sex Therapist Explains: What Is The “F**k First” Rule?
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