Welcome to Reader’s Request Fridays! This week’s question comes from Leslie*, who writes, “Is it weird that I don’t like porn? I consider myself a pretty modern person. I’m not conservative or anti-porn. I just think the porn that is out there is gross. I mentioned this to my girlfriends recently, and they all called me an old-fashioned prude. Am I??”

Hi Leslie,

Thanks for the question!

The quick and easy answer to your question is a resounding “NO!” There’s absolutely nothing wrong with not liking porn, just as there’s nothing wrong with not liking apples, not liking the color blue, or not liking country music. It’s just a personal preference!

Isn’t it sad how we can shame each other about sex in so many different ways? If you actually did like porn, I bet you’d have a different group of people in your life who would shame you for liking it! When it comes to sex, sometimes it can feel like you just can’t win.

So, no, there’s nothing wrong with you for not liking porn.

That being said, it might be possible that you don’t like porn because you haven’t seen any good porn yet. Most mainstream porn is terrible. It’s degrading to women, it depicts sex in strange ways, it’s cheesy, and it doesn’t even look visually appealing.

If mainstream porn is all you’ve seen, I wouldn’t be surprised that you aren’t a fan. But there’s more to porn than just the mainstream stuff. It’s like only ever eating Panda Express and saying you don’t like Chinese food.

If you’re curious about your relationship with porn, you could try to spend time looking at different types of porn and see if you find anything that does appeal to you. There’s nothing to lose by doing a little exploring! At the very least, you’d get confirmation that porn just isn’t your thing.

Should you feel so inclined, here are some possible avenues to explore:

• Feminist porn, or female friendly porn. This is a good option if you don’t like the degradation evident in most mainstream porn.
• Artistic porn. Perhaps shot in black and white? Or with good attention to lighting, more interesting storylines, or some actual romance?
• Look for porn that has actors that are actually attractive to you! You’re not going to get turned on by it if you don’t find the actors sexy.
• Porn that features real couples.
• Pornographic pictures or gifs. Some people like little hints of sex, rather than the full shabang. Tumblr is rife with porn gifs and beautiful nude photography.

Happy hunting!

 

*Names have been changed for privacy