Reader’s Request Fridays: Sex And The Work Week

January 17,2014

Welcome to Reader’s Request Fridays. Each Friday, I alternate between The Weekend Sexperiment and Reader’s Request Fridays. On Reader’s Request Fridays, I address one reader email.

This week’s question comes from Jake*, who writes, “My wife and I never seem to  have the energy for sex during the work week. We both have exhausting jobs and there’s never enough time in each day. What can we do?”

Sex During The Work Week | Vanessa Marin Sex Therapy

This issue comes up with virtually every single couple I work with, so I’m stoked to be able to address it.

Is there anyone out there that isn’t afflicted with “busy” syndrome? We’re all running around like chickens with our heads cut off, frantically trying to cram everything we can into each waking moment. We can usually keep it up throughout the day, but tend to crash the second we get home.

The problem of course is that all of this chaos leaves very little energy for our relationships. Who can possibly feel sexy when they’re drained, cranky and exhausted? Whether consciously or not, sex starts to take a back burner to the stresses of the day. It gets pushed down further and further on the list of priorities (how many times have you decided to watch Real Housewives instead of having sex?), and for many couples, it starts to fade away completely.

If you’ve ever been in a relationship, you’ve probably had the experience of not being able to remember the last time you even had sex.

All this being said, fear not! There are plenty of ways to reverse these patterns. This kind of creative sexual problem solving is one of my favorite parts of my job! Here are some ideas for realigning your priorities and setting yourself up for success:

Names changed for privacy

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I'm Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and writer specializing in helping you have more fun in the bedroom.

I have bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. I’m also a licensed psychotherapist. I’ve been working in the sex therapy field since 2002 and have been featured by The New York Times, O: The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, and many more.

If you’re interested in improving your sex life, you can work with me via my online courses or personal coaching sessions. I look forward to supporting you in creating the sex life you’ve always wanted!