All of my favorite sex therapy products in one place.


Le Wand Chrome Deux

A great vibrator for women who don’t love direct clitoral contact.

We-Vibe Touch Plus

This small toy packs a big punch!

Magic Wand Original

Magic Wand Rechargeable

These Magic Wands are perhaps the most powerful vibrators available.

JeJoue Mimi Soft

A wonderful vibrator for beginners.

Womanizer Classic

This toy uses a light suction instead of vibration. If you’ve never liked vibrators before, you may love it.


Chakrub Rose Wand

Chakrub Xaga Curve

These two toys are absolutely incredible at creating G-spot stimulation. They make masturbation feel glamorous and special.

nJoy Pure Wand

Another fantastic toy for the G-spot.

nJoy Fun Wand

Can be used for G-spot stimulation or anal play.

Tantus Silk Small

Tantus Silk Medium

Tantus Silk Large

These three dildos are great for strap-on play.

Couples Toys

We-Vibe Chorus Sync

Creates both internal and external clitoral stimulation.

JeJoue Mio

A fantastic cock ring with a vibrating attachment.

OhNut Classic Stackable Rings

A cock ring for larger partners, great for people who experience discomfort during penetration.


Pjur Original

My holy grail of lubricants!


Another solid lubricant option.

Sliquid Sampler

This sampler pack is a great way to try a lot of different types of lube.

Anal Toys

nJoy Pure Plugs

You can’t go wrong with one of these incredible anal plugs.

Tantus Little Flirt

A slim beginner’s anal plug.

Toys for Men

Tenga Flip Hole Silver

Tenga Flip Hole Black

Tenga Flip Hole Red

The gold standards in male masturbators.

Tenga Eggs

If you want a less expensive option for male masturbators, these toys are shockingly pleasurable.

Hot Octopuss Pulse Solo

This is a great toy for men struggling with erectile issues.

Aneros MGX Trident

Fantastic for prostate play.

Aneros Vice 2 with Remote

A girthier toy for anal and prostate play.

Lelo Bruno

Another solid option for anal and prostate play.



My favorite lingerie brand. Use code “VANESSA” for 10% off!


Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System

The best kit for restraint play.

Sex and Mischief Cuffs

Another solid option for restraints.

Pleasure Tape

This tape can be used for restraint play, but it won’t stick to your skin or rip your hair.

Tantus Thwack

A great paddle for spanking.

Kegel Health

Elvie Trainer

Fun and interactive Kegel trainer.

LELO Luna Beads

My second-favorite Kegel trainer.


Crave Vesper

A beautiful vibrator that also doubles as a necklace!

Liberator Wedge

Helps you get different angles on your favorite sex positions.


Female Sexuality

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski. HIGHLY recommended for women who want to better understand their sex drives. A great compliment to Rediscovering Desire!


The Fourth Trimester: A Postpartum Guide to Healing Your Body, Balancing Your Emotions, and Restoring Your Vitalityby Kimberly Ann Johnson. A must-read after giving birth.


Vaginas: An Owners Manual by Carol Livoti. A straightforward guide to taking good care of your vagina.


What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl’s Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety by Jaclyn Friedman. A good basic guide for women.

For Couples

Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix. How to create loving, supportive, and deeply satisfying relationships.


Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel. Understanding how desire works in long-term relationships. A great compliment to Rediscovering Desire!


Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships by John Welwood. Addresses some of the most common relationship challenges.


The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman. If you’re going to start with one relationship book, this is a great pick. Understanding your love language is key to a happy relationship.


The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships by John Gottman. A super practical book for transforming all of your relationships.


The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert by John Gottman. Gottman really is one of the best experts on relationship, and this book is fantastic.


The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel. A great resource for couples struggling with infidelity.


The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy: How to Have Incredible Sex with Role Play, Sex Games, Erotic Massage, BDSM Play and Much, Much More by Violet Blue


The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment by Jack Morin. A bit dense, but a very interesting exploration fantasies.


SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman. A must-read if you want to explore S&M.


Sensuous Magic: A Guide for Adventurous Lovers by Patrick Califia. Another must-read.


Sexual Intimacy for Women: A Guide for Same-Sex Couples by Glenda Corwin. It’s frustratingly hard to find good resources for lesbians, but this is a good guide.


The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker. Asexuality is so misunderstood. This is a wonderful guide.


The Transgender Guidebook: Keys to a Successful Transition by Anne L Boedecker.


Trans Bodies, Trans Selves: A Resource for the Transgender Community by Laura Erickson-Schroth. Wonderfully practical.


You and Your Gender Identity: A Guide to Discovery by Dara Hoffman-Fox.

Male Sexuality

The New Male Sexuality by Bernie Zilbergeld. A classic guide for men who want to better understand their sexuality and become a better lover.

The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners by Charlie Glickman. All men, regardless of their orientation, are capable of experiencing prostate pleasure.

Sexual Compulsion And Porn
Sexual Pain

Healing Painful Sex: A Woman’s Guide To Confronting, Diagnosing, And Treating Sexual Pain by Deborah Coady and Nancy Fish. An incredible book for women who experience sexual pain.

When Sex Hurts: A Woman’s Guide to Banishing Sexual Pain by Andrew Goldstein

Sexual Technique

Guide To Getting It On: Unzipped by Paul Joannides. A basic primer on all things sex.


Position of the Day Playbook: Sex Every Day in Every Way by Nerve. I’ve never found a positions book that I truly love, but this one is the best of the bunch.


She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman by Ian Kerner. One of my all time favorite book recommendations! Specifically focused on how to perform oral sex on a woman. Most sexual technique books are not great, but this one is phenomenal.


The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know by Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams. The title says it all!


Urban Tantra, Second Edition: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century by Barbara Carellas. If you’ve ever been curious about Tantra, this book is a great starting place.

Trauma, The Body, And Disability

The Body Bears the Burden: Trauma, Dissociation, and Disease by Robert Scaer. Understanding how trauma leaves a lasting impact on your body.

The Body Remembers: The Psychophysiology of Trauma and Trauma Treatment by Babette Rothschild. Geared a bit more towards clinicians, but it’s still a fantastic resource for understanding trauma.

The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability: For All of Us Who Live with Disabilities, Chronic Pain and Illness by Miriam Kaufman and Cory Silverberg. It’s really hard to find good resources for people with disabilities, but this book is great.

Your Body Speaks Your Mind by Deb Shapiro. Understanding what your physical symptoms and illnesses have to say about your body, and how you can develop a better relationship with your body.

Full disclosure – I may earn a small affiliate commission on purchases you make. I have spent years researching and testing sex toys so I can feel confident making these recommendations to you. I only recommend products and authorized resellers that I trust and stand behind 100%.