Creating A Touch Map

June 18,2012

One of the best parts of my job as a professional sex and relationship therapist is helping couples come up with fun and playful ways of experimenting with their sex lives. Today I’m sharing a few of the exercises that have been most popular with my clients. Try them out with your partner tonight! If you’re interested in learning how exercises like these can help improve the communication, intimacy, and sexuality in your relationship, call (415) 658-5738 or visit my Appointments page to set up a consultation.

First, print out a handful of copies of human body outlines, like this one:

Take one copy for yourself and give the other to your partner. Take a few moments to think about what your ideal foreplay session would be in this moment, and think about which places on your body you would want to be touched. Think of how you would order those places, and write numbers onto the body outline based on the order that you come up with. For example, you might want to first be touched on your cheek, then your neck, then your shoulders, and so on. Base the order on what you are feeling in this particular moment; it’s ok if it would be completely different on another night. When you are finished, share your list with your partner, and have them share their list with you.

There are many other variations of this exercise that you can try. You can overlay this additional information on top of your outlines, or use a new outline for each variation.

After you have completed your maps, take some time to share and discuss them with your partner. Do you notice any similarities between your maps? What about differences? Are you surprised by your partner’s maps? Do either of the maps stir up any reactions? Are you both willing to try touching each other in the ways you have mapped out?


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I'm Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and writer specializing in helping you have more fun in the bedroom.

I have bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. I’m also a licensed psychotherapist. I’ve been working in the sex therapy field since 2002 and have been featured by The New York Times, O: The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, and many more.

If you’re interested in improving your sex life, you can work with me via my online courses or personal coaching sessions. I look forward to supporting you in creating the sex life you’ve always wanted!