The newest issue of Archives of Sexual Behavior provided me with a great reminder of the importance of cuddling after sex. We have the tendency in our society to make fun of snuggling, especially post-coital snuggling. We laugh about men falling asleep right after the deed is done, and deride women for their desire to be held. Poor cuddling just can’t get any respect!

A research team in Toronto is trying to change some of the perceptions of cuddling. They recently conducted two surveys on relationship and sexual satisfaction. The study participants were all in relationships, and 90% were heterosexual. The researchers interviewed the participants, and tracked the physical relationships between couples for a period of three weeks. The purpose of the studies was to identify variables that could predict relationship satisfaction. The researchers found that couples who spent more time cuddling after sex were more likely to report feeling satisfied with their sex lives, and with their relationships as a whole. The effect was even greater for couples with children. Other factors, like the duration of sex, or the duration of foreplay, did not affect sexual or relationship satisfaction.

While this is just one small study, the findings do make a lot of sense. Cuddling after sex is a great way to prolong the sense of intimacy and connection. It’s a chance to have even more quality time together. It gives you the opportunity to bask in all the “feel good” hormones released during sex.

Try creating more intimacy after a sexual interaction. By all means, take a second to clean up and go to the restroom, but come back to your partner afterwards. Keep your phone, laptop, and TV turned off, and try to stave off sleep for even a few minutes. Here are some specific suggestions to try out:

• Hold each other
• Keep kissing
• Massage each other’s backs, hands, or arms
• Lightly stroke each other’s bodies with your fingertips
• Playfully wrestle
• Discuss your favorite parts of that particular sexual interaction
• Brainstorm something new to try next time
• Share your affection verbally
• Talk about your day
• Thank each other for taking the time to connect