Welcome to The Weekend Sexperiment! Each Friday, I alternate between The Weekend Sexperiment and Reader’s Request Fridays. In TWS posts, I offer a simple sex therapy homework assignment to try out over the weekend. Some experiments are geared towards couples, but others are suitable for single folks. As always, please feel free to contact me if you have a certain topic you’d like to see covered. If you’re interested in counseling, call (415) 658-5738 or visit my Appointments page to schedule a consultation.

In order to improve your sex life, you have to start devoting more of your resources to it.

This statement may seem painfully obvious, but ask yourself honestly, “when was the last time I did something solely for the benefit of my sexual self?” When was the last time you spent a significant amount of your time, money, attention, energy, or space on bettering your sex life?

Many people want their sex lives to be better, but they are hesitant about actually starting to take steps towards change.

This process can be legitimately scary at times – it’s hard to ask your partner for something new, to explore a hidden fantasy, or to try changing your relationship with your body.

But the good news is that not all of these steps are scary. Some of them can actually be quite fun!

 This weekend, I want you to take one of these potentially entertaining and exciting steps. I would like to encourage you to buy something sex-related for yourself.

I’m focusing on finances because spending money on ourselves tends to be difficult for many of us – women especially. Most of us have huge doubts and fears about not being “worth” spending money on.

I want you to have the experience – as uncomfortable as it may be at first – of making a purchase solely for the sake of your own personal pleasure and enjoyment.

This exercise is also designed with several other goals in mind.

You’ll have to research what you want to buy, which may include exploring a few different options. If you want to challenge yourself, you can consider a product that is unfamiliar or even a little intimidating. You may even find items that make you giggle, helping you realize that sex doesn’t have to be so serious all the time.

Once you make your choice and follow through on acquiring it, you’ll be sending yourself and your body the message that your sexuality is important.

And hopefully you will actually get a chance to enjoy your purchase!

Here are some ideas to get you started. I suggest considering at least three of the items on this list. If this is your first time doing something like this, you don’t need to push yourself too far out of your comfort zone.

• Lingerie or undergarments

• A costume for role-playing

• Wonderful smelling candles or massage oils

• A wax of your intimate areas

• A sex toy

• A pole or lap dancing class

• Lubricant

• A sexual education book or video

• Something you can use to stimulate your skin, like a leather tickler or feather boa

• Props for a fantasy

• A subscription to an adult website

• An erotic novel

• A weekend getaway or a night in a hotel room

• A pornographic film

• A sex therapy session!