As a sex therapist, one of the issues that I see my clients struggling with most frequently is how much sex they “should” be having. Everyone wants to know what’s “normal.”

People who have high sex drives worry about wanting sex too much. People with low sex drives feel guilty for not wanting sex enough. Nobody ever thinks of themselves as “normal.”

The problem is that our sex drives don’t understand what “normal” means. Sex drives just are what they are.

That’s not to say that our libidos are static. Sex drives fluctuate over time, and are sensitive to dynamics like health issues, relationship problems, stress, and energy levels. But each of us also has a range of sexual frequency that feels right.

If we can stop spending so much time obsessing over what we “should” be doing, and can start focus on what we want to be doing, we’ll all be so much happier!

This weekend, your challenge is to come to terms with your natural sex drive.

Ask yourself, “what level of sexual frequency tends to feel healthy for me?”

Feel like having sex every day? Awesome! Couldn’t care less if you never had sex again? Awesome! Are you a twice a week kind of person? Awesome! A once a month kind or person? Awesome!

Stop trying to bully, guilt, or pressure yourself into wanting sex more or less frequently, and try to accept and honor your sex drive.

Even if it’s just for this weekend.