Welcome to The Weekend Sexperiment! I know what you’re probably thinking right now – “Orgasmless sex?! On purpose? What’s the point??”

I know it sounds strange, but trust me, you’re going to want to try out this Sexperiment.

This topic is inspired by an interview I recently gave on the topic of male orgasmic difficulties. Men and women alike struggle with having consistent orgasms during sex, and the frustration that can result from anorgasmia can be quite harmful to your sex life.

While orgasms are undeniably fun, they don’t have to be the be-all-end-all of a sexual encounter. In fact, focusing too much on your orgasms can have a variety of potential negative side effects, including the following:

 

• Pressuring yourself to reach orgasm pulls you out of the moment and prevents you from enjoying all of the pleasurable stimulation of a sexual interaction.
• Focusing on orgasm can cause you to become overly critical about your body or your sexuality. You may find yourself beating yourself up mentally with thoughts like, “what’s wrong with me?” and “why can’t I just be normal?”
• Prioritizing orgasm can actually prevent your partner from learning what you like sexually. The direct path to orgasm isn’t always the most pleasurable path.
• Worrying about your orgasm can create anxiety that persists even outside of the bedroom.
• You can create emotional distance between yourself and your partner by obsessing over your orgasm.
• Focusing on orgasm can create a race between partners. One person is always trying to slow down while the other is always trying to speed up.

This weekend, your Sexperiment is to forbid yourself from orgasming. You can do anything you want sexually except for orgasm. See what effect is has on your sex life to have the possibility of orgasm completely off the table.

See if you can relax more, mentally and physically.

Try to slow down and be more present in the moment.

Notice how your level of arousal is affected by knowing you can’t orgasm. Some people may notice feeling a “slow burn” of desire throughout the entire weekend.

See if you’re more comfortable communicating your sexual needs and desires without having the goal of orgasm looming in front of you.

Examine how you decide when a sexual interaction ends. Most of the time we rely on orgasms to signify the end. Without an orgasm, how do you know when you’re ready to move on to a different activity?

Notice what each sexual activity feels like when you know you’re not going to orgasm. How does it differ from what it’s usually like for you?

 

Happy Sexperimenting!