Welcome to The Weekend Sexperiment! Each Friday, I alternate between The Weekend Sexperiment and Reader’s Request Fridays. In TWS posts, I offer a simple sex therapy homework assignment to try out over the weekend. Some experiments are geared towards couples, but others are suitable for single folks. As always, please feel free to contact me if you have a certain topic you’d like to see covered. If you’re interested in counseling, call (415) 658-5738 or visit my Appointments page to schedule a consultation.

If you’re in a relationship, how did you greet your partner the last time you came together? A hug? A hello? A nod? Maybe you just brushed by each other?

When you fell asleep last night, how did you say goodnight? Did you fall asleep before saying anything? Did you exchange a quick peck before rolling over?

When was the last time you and your partner really stopped to give each other a long, passionate, meaningful greeting?

We say hello and goodbye, good morning and goodnight to each other multiple times throughout the day, and so many of us don’t take the time to appreciate these little interactions.

There’s something so interesting to me about greetings.

In our relationships, we make and break contact with each other almost constantly, and most of the time it’s unconscious.

We may make eye contact with each other in one moment and feel so connected and in tune with each other. The next moment, thoughts of a workplace annoyance might creep into your head, taking you somewhere else.

We do this dance with each other without even realizing that we are doing it. Sometimes this auto-pilot that we go into can prevent us from recognizing when we are truly present with each other.

Of course, we can’t be present with each other in every single moment, but greetings are a way for us to thoughtfully recognize when we are making and breaking contact with each other, and practice being fully present during these transitions.

This weekend, try practicing taking more time to say hello and goodbye to your partner.

Try to give yourselves the logistical support to do so; this may mean setting the alarm a little later or getting into bed a few minutes earlier.

You can allow yourselves the spontaneity to see how you want to greet each other each time. Maybe one day you feel like making out with each other, while the next day making meaningful eye contact feels right.

Or you and your partner can talk about creating a ritual that you’ll go through every time. One example of a ritual could be deciding to jump into bed together for a few minutes after you both get home. Another could be sharing your favorite part of the day right before falling asleep.

See what it’s like to take a little more time connecting with each other as you come together and move apart.