Welcome to The Weekend Sexperiment! Each Friday, I alternate between The Weekend Sexperiment and Reader’s Request Fridays. In TWS posts, I offer a simple sex therapy homework assignment to try out over the weekend. Some experiments are geared towards couples, but others are suitable for single folks. As always, please feel free to contact me if you have a certain topic you’d like to see covered. If you’re interested in counseling, call (415) 658-5738 or visit my Appointments page to schedule a consultation.
Men and women alike are taught to be uncomfortable with our bodies from an early age. We have very specific messages about what our bodies are supposed to look like, and we feel tremendous pressure and guilt when we don’t meet those standards.
We are all used to hiding our bodies under clothes, undergarments, shapewear, and distracting accessories. We try to manipulate our bodies through frustrating cycles of diet and exercise.
All of us have areas of our bodies that are the subject of anxiety, discomfort, scorn, and embarrassment.
It’s no surprise that all of this body anxiety affects us sexually.
Many of us aren’t very familiar with how our bodies operate sexually, and many more have negative feelings about the intimate areas of our bodies.
We’re taught that our vaginas are icky, that our penises need to be of a certain length, and that our anuses are completely off-limits. We worry about how our thighs look during oral sex, how our bellies jiggle in certain sexual positions, how our genital fluids smell and taste.
Our bodies can become a distraction from our sexual pleasure, even though sexual pleasure takes place on and in the body!
This weekend’s suggestion is to spend as much of the weekend naked as possible. (Of course, don’t put yourself in any illegal or unethical situations; we’re just talking about nakedness in the privacy of your own home.)
Try to see what it feels like to strip away all of your armor and take a good, honest look at your body in its pure and natural state.
Stand in front of a mirror and take yourself in for a few minutes. Let your eyes travel over every inch of your body, even the places that are hard to look at.
If you’re single, notice what it feels like to be naked. Do you feel embarrassed, anxious, worried, free, light, exuberant, silly?
If you have a partner, explore what it feels like to be undressed in front of each other.
You may have been intimate with this person hundreds of times, but if you’re like most people, sex usually takes place in the dark. Seeing each other’s bodies in the light of day can be a wholly different experience.
You can also take the time to explore how being naked feels alone versus with another person. Are you more self-conscious around another person? Do different areas attract your attention when you’re alone versus with your partner?
Experiment with what it’s like to do your daily activities in the nude. Wash dishes, sweep your apartment, watch TV, read a book, or laze around in bed. Can you find some humor and playfulness in going through your usual routine in your birthday suit?