This week’s question comes from Joseph*, who writes, “I know this is going to sound weird, but my dog is ruining my sex life. My fiance and I adopted a puppy a few months ago, and he has become very attached to her. Whenever I try to kiss her, he tries to jump in between us like he’s protecting her. She thinks it’s cute, so she’ll stop kissing me to cuddle with him. If we try to have sex, he’ll cry at the foot of the bed, and she’ll get up to comfort him. I feel like I’m being cock-blocked by my own pet.”

Hi Joseph,

I’ve got a little furry friend of my own, so I know the challenges of pet ownership all too well. Behind those sweet little faces lie some serious sexual saboteurs!

Here are some of the many ways pets can completely spoil the mood:

• Crying when you’re not paying attention to him
• Getting anxious when left alone
• Interrupting kisses, hugs, or even sex
• Squeezing in between the two of you whenever you get close
• Sleeping between you in bed
• Making it harder to be spontaneous
• Loud or smelly burps or farts
• One of you is allergic to a pet the other one had before you met
• Making one of you jealous that you love the dog more than your human companion
• You’re arguing about how to train him (or about who’s spending more time doing so)

I’ve even heard a couple complain that their dog gives them “judgy” looks after they have sex!

So what can you do if your little fur baby is completely getting in the way of your relationship? Here are a few ideas:

 

Call in the pros

Get a professional dog trainer to come to your house ASAP. A skilled trainer should be able to help you address the specific concerns you have about your pooch. They can help you get on the same page about training styles, and may even have some ideas about evenly splitting up training duties.

 

Get a babysitter

I was extremely lucky to find a dog walker that my dog loves to pieces. I can send him off with her knowing that he’s being well taken care of and is having a blast. You can use a trusted dog walker to give you and your fiance some much-needed alone time.

 

Put each other first

As much as you and your fiance love your dog, you have to remember to prioritize each other. Greet each other first, before saying hi to your pooch. Move him off the sofa when he tries to wriggle in between you. Talk to each other about the effects pet ownership is having on your relationship, and try to feel like a team in brainstorming solutions.

 

Protect your private time

Dogs are so sweet and cuddly that it’s hard not to want to be around them all the time. But it’s important for you and your fiance to make sure you have private time alone. Go into the bedroom and shut the door, or put your pet in his crate. Don’t neglect date night because you feel guilty leaving him home.

 

And one final word from someone who has been there… it gets better when they grow out of the puppy stage!

 

* Names changed for privacy