Welcome to The Weekend Sexperiment! Each Friday, I alternate between The Weekend Sexperiment and Reader’s Request Fridays. In TWS posts, I offer a simple sex therapy homework assignment to try out over the weekend. Some experiments are geared towards couples, but others are suitable for single folks. As always, please feel free to contact me if you have a certain topic you’d like to see covered. If you’re interested in counseling, call (415) 658-5738 or visit my Appointments page to schedule a consultation.

This weekend’s topic is sensuality. Many of us only think about sensuality when it comes to sex, and most of us don’t even consider sensuality at all. People seem to have a lot of negative connotations when it comes to the idea of sensuality. Some people think it sounds too hippie or New Age. Others think it seems perverted, manipulative, or dangerous. Many more think of it as simply a waste of time. In truth, sensuality is nothing more than a special type of awareness. All that sensuality means is being able to pay attention to each of your senses as you move through your day. It’s noticing the feel of the wind on your face, tasting all of the different flavor elements in your cocktail, hearing the birds twittering outside, smelling the enticing aroma of pizza wafting out of a restaurant, and seeing the sprinkling of beauty marks across your partner’s face. It can of course be sexual, but it doesn’t always have to be.

The assignment this week is to tap into your sensuality throughout your entire weekend. Try to find moments of sensuality in even the most mundane tasks. This will require slowing down and reminding yourself to pay attention to yourself and your surroundings. I’ve included some suggestions below, but feel free to think of some of your own as well.

• You may want to start off by focusing on one sense at a time. Spend an hour trying to keep sight at the forefront of your mind, then switch over to sound. You don’t need to spend every waking second immersed in your senses; just try to tune in to them for a few seconds, a couple of times an hour. Towards the end of the weekend, you can try keeping all of your senses in mind. Notice what sort of effect it has on your body, your mind, and your spirit to have your attention focused in this way.

• Try sitting still, closing your eyes and paying attention to all of your senses (obviously sight is going to be a little different on this one). Then go for a walk. Notice what it’s like to try to tune into your sensuality where there is so much stimuli around you. What are the differences or similarities between the two?

• Take a shower or a bath. Notice your muscles engage as you turn on the water. Watch the steam begin to rise in the bathroom. Feel the temperature of the water on your body. Hear the droplets crashing against the floor. Smell the scent of the soap. Get your hands sudsy and really pay attention to the glide of the soap against your skin.

• Brush your hair, or have your partner brush it for you. The scalp is exquisitely sensitive for many of us, so this is the perfect exercise to focus in on sensation. Feel the bristles tugging at your follicles and moving down your neck. You may experience goosebumps or shivers. Notice the sound of the brush moving along your head. Pay attention to how the rest of your body responds.

• Get dressed. Look at the colors, patterns, and textures of your clothing. Touch each item as you decide what to wear. Sniff for traces of laundry detergent. Listen to how the fabrics move. Notice how the fabrics feel going onto your body.

• Eat a meal without any other distractions. No TV, no phone, no email. Try not even talking. Look at the colors and textures of your food. Get close to your plate and take a big whiff. Touch your food, or even try eating with your hands. Taste all of the different components of your dish. Hear the sounds of your chewing.