Are you frustrated by how sex gets initiated in your relationship? Does the way your partner initiates feel boring, frustrating, or annoying? Do you find yourself feeling too self-conscious or awkward to initiate? If so, you’re not alone! We polled our audience, and only 17% of people were happy with the state of initiation with their partners.
Shocked by those initial findings, we decided to dig even deeper with an in-depth survey. Over 10,000 people responded! In this episode, we break down the fascinating results. Who initiates most often? Who gets turned down most often? Does having kids affect initiation?
Bad initiation sucks in the moment, but it goes even deeper than that. You might find yourself asking, “Is it me? Does my partner still find me attractive? Do they not think I’m worth the effort anymore?” You may find yourself losing attraction for your partner, or desiring sex less. You might wind up arguing, going cold, or questioning your compatibility. This is a big issue in relationships, and it’s crucial that we solve it!
Here’s a glance at this episode:
[7:01] You want a higher sex drive, but WHY?
[12:37] Thinking about the lengths you’d go to for an increase in libido
[14:31] Let’s talk about the middle-of-the-road effort
[17:18] The course that shocked us
[19:32] Most common sex drive roadblocks
[23:55] The definition of desire
[29:52] It’s ok to be fine with where you’re at right now
[33:40] The power of “won’t” vs “can’t”
[34:30] Don’t be afraid to say how you feel
[36:23] Taking the time to understand the motivation
[38:00] The science of libido
[40:04] Dissecting the ingredients of your life into what stays and what can go
[44:28] Xander reveals how he prioritizes his sex drive
[47:38] The missing ingredient = great sex!
Links & resources
Guide: The Art Of Initiation
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It’s the sex education you wish you had!
Also listen on
