The Truth About Being Passive In Bed: And How To Take Control

July 10, 2025

#216

Does this sound familiar? Your partner asks you to take control in the bedroom… and your brain completely short-circuits.

You freeze. You feel awkward. You suddenly have no idea what to do.

If you’ve ever found yourself defaulting to passivity during intimacy—or if the idea of “being in control” feels totally foreign—you’re so not alone.

In today’s episode, we’re asking the question: Are you letting sx happen to you… or are you a active participant during it?

We’re also talking about this from a male perspective: What does it feel like to be the only one initiating or guiding? Do men want their partners more engaged—and what does that even look like?

Whether you’ve never taken the lead before, or you’re just looking to feel more empowered and participatory, this episode is your permission slip—and your how-to guide.

Let’s get into it.

Here’s what we’re covering:

  • Why so many women default to passivity in the bedroom
  • What men actually think about women taking the lead
  • Questions to ask your partner to open up this convo
  • What “taking control” can look like—without the pressure
  • Simple ways to be more confident and engaged in the moment

Links & Resources:

  • The Art of Initiation — our most-loved guide for learning how to confidently initiate intimacy
  • Join us inside Deeper to access the brand new Sensual Touch Challenge and finally understand what turns you (and your partner) on

Stay Connected

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