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I’m Vanessa Marin. I’m a licensed psychotherapist, and I’m here to help you take your relationship and sex life from ordinary to extraordinary!

The unfortunate truth is that we never learn how to have healthy relationships.

And because none of us really knows what the heck we’re doing, it can create a lot of problems. We find ourselves in relationships with ineffective communication, frequent fighting, and a lack of passion. (Been there, done that!)

But relationships are just too important for us to struggle so much.

So I set out to create an educational platform that helps you bring joy into your relationship and sex life by instilling you with inspiration and hope, obliterating the shame and embarrassment that we have all been taught to have, and sharing the accurate information and practical, actionable, tools that you deserve.

The best way for you to get started is to join my email list!

You’ll get weekly emails filled with my most valuable tips, techniques and advice – all for free!

Every month I cover a new popular topic, such as: how to make the time in your busy life for sex and intimacy, how to have more and better orgasms, and how to know if you’re truly compatible.

You’ll also be the first to hear about free videos and masterclasses, new courses, and top secret offers!

As a welcome gift, I’ll also send you a free guide:

How To Start Talking About Sex With Your Partner – Even If You Never Have Before.

Uncover how to keep your relationship happy and healthy with this crucial guide

Can I Help You?

Need some reassurance that I know my stuff?

I’ve been involved in sex and relationship therapy, coaching, education, and research since 2002, and I’ve helped thousands of clients experience incredible transformations.

I have bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology. 

I’m also a licensed psychotherapist (#78931). 

I’ve served as a featured expert in major magazines and websites like O, The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, Harper’s Bazaar, and Refinery29 thousands of times (check out the evidence here!), and I’ve written for the New York Times, Allure, Lifehacker, and Bustle.

I’m a woman on a mission to change the world, one relationship at a time!

I can rattle off all my trainings, qualifications, and accolades, but I think what you really want to know is, “Can she help me?”

My answer is a wholehearted “Yes!”

Everyone worries that there’s something unique or “abnormal” about their situation, but the truth is that we all fall into the same traps with sex and relationships. I know I can help you create an exceptional relationship and sex life, and I would be truly honored to support you!

Meet The Team

Believe it or not, Vanessa Marin Sex Therapy is actually a family business! Yes, we recognize that a family sex therapy business sounds pretty silly, but we do it because we’re all passionate about this work.

We are:


Hi again! I create all of our content and provide coaching to our community. 

Fun facts:

  • I’m 5’0”. I spent most of my life desperately wishing for a few more inches, but I’ve finally embraced being a shorty 
  • I’m one of the biggest bookworms you’ll ever meet, and I’m always reading multiple books at the same time.
  • I love weightlifting, and I’m currently the strongest I’ve ever been in my life!
  • One of my favorite parts of my relationship with my husband Xander is traveling with him. We like making last-minute plans, doing road trips all over the globe, and sampling as much of the local cuisine as possible.


I’m Vanessa’s husband, and I’m in charge of making sure the business runs smoothly behind the scenes. I also help Vanessa put content together for our courses and emails, and we sometimes run joint coaching calls and masterclasses together.

Fun facts:

  • I grew up surfing, and recently got back into it.
  • I love cooking and making cocktails. Few things make me happier than seeing Vanessa enjoy something I whipped up for her. 
  • I’m love sci-fi novels and films (and am always looking for new recommendations…).


I’m Vanessa’s sister. I’m the design gal, but I also help with sending out our weekly email newsletter, editing videos, and updating our website.

Fun facts:

  • I’m a big Harry Potter nerd, and make a point to re-read the entire series every year. (What’s better than reading HP during the holidays??)
  • I love cooking and baking, and regularly spend my time experimenting in the kitchen.
  • I recently completed my 200-hour Yoga Teacher Training, but you’ll frequently find me at one of the world’s largest Zumba classes.


[OK, so Indira isn’t technically family, but she feels like it at this point!]

I’m in charge of answering questions about our services, gathering requests and feedback from our community, and ensuring that all of our customers are happy! 

Fun facts:

  • I read a lot on personal development. On average 5-6 books a month!
  • I’m a marathon runner and longboard skater.
  • I’m obsessed with tiny homes and the KonMari method.


I’m Vanessa and Xander’s right-hand woman! I handle all the operations of the business, and support the team in every way possible.

Fun facts:

  • I’m a huge animal lover and have two pugs (Phineas and Tristen) and a bearded dragon.
  • I’m a fine artist and work in painting, photography, and creative writing.
  • My form of meditation is long-distance running and I’m currently training to run the Big Sur Marathon.
  • I also love music (and dancing) and try to go to a new music festival every year. 

Winston and Maggie

OK, maybe we don’t really do too much business-wise, but we sure do look cute, don’t we?

Fun facts:

  • Winston: I lived internationally for almost three years!
  • Maggie: I was rescued from a terrible backyard breeding/animal hoarding situation, and am now enjoying living a spoiled life with my brother!

Phineas and Tristen

We’re the newest additions to the team, and are learning the ropes from Winston and Maggie! Vanessa says it makes her ridiculously happy to have a four-pug business. 

Fun facts:

  • Phineas: Traveled to Paris when I was 2 (loved it). I’m about to turn 12, but often get mistaken for a puppy. My outrageously long tongue is always a crowd pleaser!
  • Tristen: Opposite of a picky-eater, my favorite snacks are carrots and apples. Won’t turn down a howl to my favorite song, “Ho Hey” by The Lumineers.

What We Believe In

Vanessa Marin Sex Therapy is rooted in the following core values:


1. We believe that everyone deserves an extraordinary relationship and sex life…

We think that, with the right guidance, everyone has the capacity to create the relationship of their dreams.

Yes, even you!


2. But we also believe that you have to actively work on it!

Society sends us the message that if we’re truly soulmates, things will just happen “naturally.” You won’t have to work on your relationship because you’ll be wildly compatible right from the get-go.

We couldn’t disagree more. 

(And we really hate the word “natural”!)

We believe that a rock solid relationship and a sizzling hot sex life aren’t just going to fall into your lap; you have to create and nurture them. 

Our business exists to equip you with the practical, actionable tools you need to create an extraordinary relationship inside the bedroom and out. The stuff that you were never given the opportunity to learn ever before. 

And we give most of our work away for free because (going back to #1) we think you deserve extraordinary intimacy. 


3. We believe in taking a proactive approach. 

Most of us don’t work on our relationships or our sex lives until things have gotten really bad. Someone threatens a break-up or divorce, so we start frantically Googling therapists in our area, trying to find someone who can see us tonight

But by that time, it’s often too late. 

This reactionary approach just isn’t helping anyone. 

We believe that proactively working to keep our relationships happy and joyful can prevent major challenges from coming up in the first place. 

It’s a lot more fun to focus on thriving than surviving


4. We believe in being open, honest and vulnerable. 

Xander and I share our raw, unfiltered selves – as individuals and as a married couple – with our community. 

You’ll hear personal stories about our triumphs, but you’ll also hear about major challenges we’ve been faced with and mistakes we’ve made. 

It’s vulnerable to share this much with you, but we do it because we know that hearing these kinds of stories will help you know you’re not alone.

It’s rare to have open and honest discussions about sex and relationships, but we’re determined to change that.


5. We approach sex and relationships with curiosity and creativity.

We want you to have the absolute best toolkit possible, so we’re constantly experimenting with new and unique solutions to everyday sex and relationship problems.

Curiosity is our best friend – and yours too! We know from experience that when we approach our own challenges with genuine, whole-hearted curiosity, instead of fear, shame or judgment, a whole world of creativity opens up to us. 

We’re learners at heart, so Xander and I test drive all of our ideas on ourselves before we share them with you!

6. We believe in giving back.

Our business exists to help make the world a better place.

Every month, we donate a significant portion of our company’s profits to non-profit organizations chosen by our employees. We support organizations that teach sexual education, eliminate sexual violence, amplify underserved populations and voices, and promote equality. Past organizations that we have donated to include:

  • Planned Parenthood
  • The Trevor Project
  • National Alliance To End Sexual Violence
  • ACLU
  • Color Of Change
  • Campaign Zero
  • The Loveland Foundation

7. We value diversity, equality, and inclusion.

Although many of our resources are grounded in our own experience as a male-female married couple, we want to be clear that we value diversity of identity, orientation, experience, and opinion.

Because we believe that everyone deserves to have extraordinary relationships, we are committed to making our business accessible to all races, socioeconomic statuses, sexual orientations, gender identities, levels of ability, and more.

As biracial people ourselves, we strive to be actively anti-racist. 

We know that we don’t know everything, and we’re committed to increasing our knowledge on an active and ongoing basis.

We know that we’re going to get things wrong, mess up, and hurt people, but we’re fiercely committed to taking ownership for our actions, apologizing non-defensively, and doing our best to repair the harm we cause.

Let’s Get Started

I know that all this sex and relationship stuff can feel intimidating or awkward at first. 

But I think you came to my website because you want more from your sex life and relationship.

Let’s get started!

Evidently, the class taught me a lot—because after taking it, I started orgasming from someone else’s touch for the first time.


"There are relationship therapists out there and then there are individuals like Vanessa who take it to another level - really cream of the crop and cutting edge!"

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