The Secret To Feeling More Pleasure In The Bedroom

September 02,2021

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “Sex just feels so blah. I don’t get what the fuss is all about”? This is one of the most common complaints we hear from women! So many women want to FEEL MORE in the bedroom, but they just don’t know how.

In today’s episode, Vanessa and Xander unpack why the key to feeling more pleasure in the bedroom is to start with masturbation.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

Here’s a glance at this episode:

[2:23] Why women tend to feel shame or discomfort around masturbation.

[8:54] What our audience thinks about masturbation.

[12:02] Why masturbation is the key to more pleasure.

[20:05] Our tips for overcoming shame when it comes to masturbation.

[20:09] Tip 1: Have compassion for yourself.

[26:34] Tip 2: Take control of your mindset.

[28:40] Tip 3: Change the definition of masturbation.

[32:53] Tip 4: Talk about it with your partner.

[38:46] Tip 5: Learn some actual techniques.

[35:28] Listener question: “I don’t want to have to do it. I just want to be able to get there during sex with my husband.”

[37:32] Listener question: “Do people in happy relationships still masturbate?”

[39:32] Listener question: “Is masturbation an important step to increasing libido?”

[40:38] Listener question: “I did it a few times in college but it just wasn’t for me. Was I doing something wrong?”

Links & Resources

Free Guide: Best Way To Have Your First Orgasm

Video: Masturbation In Relationships? – A SEX Therapist’s Guidelines for Self Pleasure

Course: Finishing School

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I'm Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and writer specializing in helping you have more fun in the bedroom.

I have bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. I’m also a licensed psychotherapist. I’ve been working in the sex therapy field since 2002 and have been featured by The New York Times, O: The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, and many more.

If you’re interested in improving your sex life, you can work with me via my online courses or personal coaching sessions. I look forward to supporting you in creating the sex life you’ve always wanted!