No, Your Partner Didn’t Make You Feel That Way – Your Feelings Are Your Responsibility

September 09,2021

Feelings. Is there anything that makes you feel more uncomfortable? It’s hard enough to process your own feelings, so when your partner does something that brings up big feelings for you, it’s so easy to blame them for the way you feel.

But the unfortunate reality is we can’t actually blame other people for how we’re feeling!

In today’s episode, Vanessa and Xander discuss why our feelings are our own responsibility, and give their best tips for navigating challenging emotions.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

Here’s a glance at this episode:

[2:59] What our audience thinks about feelings.

[4:19] The Fundamental Attribution Error.

[7:49] What feelings can lead to in relationships.

[11:53] What feelings are and what are they not.

[20:07] Why your feelings are your responsibility.

[27:02] Our two steps for navigating challenging emotions on your own.

[39:35] Listener question: “I was raised in a family that didn’t talk about feelings.”

[42:02] Listener question: “How do you self-soothe when you’re having feelings?”

[44:53] Listener question: “Is it just better to keep some stuff stuffed down?”

Links & resources

Free Guide: The Simple Daily Check-In Every Couple Needs To Be Doing Right Now

Video: Improve Your Relationship – How To Follow GOOD Relationship Advice

Course: The Relationship Care Package

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I'm Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and writer specializing in helping you have more fun in the bedroom.

I have bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. I’m also a licensed psychotherapist. I’ve been working in the sex therapy field since 2002 and have been featured by The New York Times, O: The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, and many more.

If you’re interested in improving your sex life, you can work with me via my online courses or personal coaching sessions. I look forward to supporting you in creating the sex life you’ve always wanted!