How To Get That New Relationship Energy Back

September 23,2021

We all want to feel wanted.

That’s why we’re talking about something that can totally change your relationship for the better, and it’s something you’ve already done…”dating” your partner!

We’ve heard from our community (and this is something we as a couple have gone through as well) that when you’ve been together for years, even decades, you can go through phases where you feel more like roommates than romantic partners. Maybe you have kids and you know you’re on the same team, but romance has taken a back seat to parenting and just life in general. Whatever the case may be, we’re excited to talk about the role desire can play in your relationship and how – yes – you can reignite that spark from the ‘old days’.

In this episode, you’ll discover

Here’s a glance at this episode:

[3:48] Our audience weighs in on what they need from a long term relationship

[6:06] Surprising DMs we got in response to our Instagram polls about dating your partner

[12:32] Common traps that keep us from feeling like we should date our partners

[14:22] The magic word (and the start of our dating your partner tips!)

[15:33] Why Xander feels guilty about his pre-date routine

[21:06] Concrete ideas for dating your partner: how to level-up date night

[24:47] What the hell is a ‘Popsicle Pthursday’?!

[31:45] One of the most important keys to helping to make your partner feel desired, and vice versa

[33:26] Listener questions: “How do you date your partner when you have kids?” or “when you can’t spend any money?”

[36:26] Listener question: “How do you date when everything else seems more important?”

[39:25] Listener question: “How do you get your partner on board with dating? He gets defensive when I bring it up.”

Links & Resources:

Guide: 30 Day Sex Challenge

Podcast Episode: Mental Load: What it is and How to Stop it from Destroying Your Relationship

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It’s the sex education you wish you had!

Want your questions answered on the show? Send us a DM or voice memo @vanessamarintherapy, or leave us a message at +1-774-PIL-LOW1. We’d love to hear from you!

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I'm Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and writer specializing in helping you have more fun in the bedroom.

I have bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. I’m also a licensed psychotherapist. I’ve been working in the sex therapy field since 2002 and have been featured by The New York Times, O: The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, and many more.

If you’re interested in improving your sex life, you can work with me via my online courses or personal coaching sessions. I look forward to supporting you in creating the sex life you’ve always wanted!