There is absolutely zero shame in using toys in the bedroom. In fact, they can be a game-changer for pleasure, intimacy, and just plain fun.
Whether you’re curious about where to start, nervous about how your partner might react, or worried about your kids (or pets!) discovering your stash, we’re covering it all in today’s episode.
We’re also sharing some of the funniest (and most relatable) real-life sex toy stories you sent us. Because if you’ve ever had a vibrator confiscated by your toddler or opened a box of anal beads in front of your in-laws, you are definitely not alone.
Here’s what we’re diving into:
- The best starter toy for women
- How to talk to your partner about wanting to use toys (without hurting their feelings)
- Whether orgasms feel different with a toy
- Why it’s totally normal if toys aren’t your thing
- Talking to men about male sex toys
- Using toys solo vs. with a partner
- How often to use toys (and why your partner should never “hand you off” to one)
- The best ways to store your toys so kids or family don’t stumble across them
- Hilarious (and mortifying) real-life mishaps from our listeners
If you’ve ever had questions about sex toys and tools or just want a good laugh at the stories we’ve collected — this one’s for you.
Links & Resources:
Ready to go deeper?
Sex toys are just one way to keep things fun and connected in your relationship. Inside our monthly membership Deeper, you’ll get:
- Expert-led guides and courses on intimacy, pleasure, and communication
- Two brand-new date night ideas every month (one cute, one sexy)
- Monthly live calls with us where you can ask us your questions directly
- Unlimited access to Vanessa AI — your 24/7 virtual sex + relationship coach
- A private, supportive community of couples working on the same goals
Whether you’re brand-new to exploration in the bedroom or just looking for fresh ways to connect, Deeper gives you all the tools, tips, and real-talk support to make your relationship feel exciting again.
Learn more at vmtherapy.com/deeper
Stay Connected
Follow us on Instagram @vanessaandxander
Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and so many sex puns Sign up here!
Never miss an episode! Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to pods!
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It’s the sex education you wish you had!
Also listen on
