So Your Partner Told You Their Fantasy… And You’re Not Into It

December 2, 2021


Do you have a fantasy you’ve always wanted to explore? Maybe your partner does as well, but it doesn’t ‘match up’ with yours. In this episode we’re diving into a five step process for dealing with different fantasies in relationships.

Seriously, people go bananas whenever we talk about mental load, so this is an episode you don’t want to miss!

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • What mental load is, and why it’s so harmful to relationships. 
  • How mental load impacts your sex life in particular.
  • Why How to gracefully handle/talk about your partner’s fantasy
  • How fantasies can have different levels of importance to your partner
  • Our favorite way to research a fantasy
  • How to take small steps toward turning a fantasy into reality
  • How to explore other options for your partner to realize their fantasy

Here’s a glance at this episode:

[00:49] How much of ‘Fantasy’ by Mariah Carey does Xander know?

[6:40] Our Instagram polls for the week — “do you talk about fantasies?” and “do you have different fantasies?”

[8:43] How we’re going to approach this episode

[9:10] Step 1: Handle your partner’s fantasy with grace and respect

[10:08] Why and how Xander would approach the ‘mile high club’ differently

[12:17] How trust plays into sharing fantasies in a very major way

[14:20] Step 2: Discuss how important the fantasy is to your partner

[17:10] Dealbreaker fantasies

[18:17] Step 3: Do some research

[20:10] Step 4: Is there a part of your partner’s fantasy that DOES interest you?

[20:33] Sex at Nordstrom

[24:00] Setting boundaries around your partner’s fantasy

[28:13] Step 5: Exploring other options for your partner to realize their fantasy (the most challenging of these situations)

[31:27] What to do if you don’t even know what your fantasies are


Top 7 Most Common Fantasies Blog Post

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