Should Sex Happen Naturally?

June 10, 2021

#3

Should sex happen naturally?

This is one of the most common questions we get asked, and it can cause some serious tension in relationships.

You may want to work on improving your sex life or making changes, but your partner refuses because they think it should just happen naturally.

In this episode, we’re going to uncover the truth about how sex really works in a long-term relationship. We think you’re going to be pretty surprised…

Giveaway alert!

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Take a screenshot of this episode and tag us on instagram @vanessamarintherapy and tell us your biggest takeaway! We can’t wait to hear what steps you’re going to take to talk about sex with your partner.

Want your questions answered on the show? Send a DM to @vanessamarintherapy. We’d love to hear from you!

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • We all have different definitions of what “natural” means.
  • Initiation is often implied to mean no, make an effort to get started. 
  • Our idea of “natural” changes over time.
  • Natural sex takes the individuality out of intimacy and doesn’t leave any room for experimentation.
  • The idea of natural sex ignores safety by taking away the ability to give consent and set boundaries.
  • Natural sex actually distances us from ourselves and from our partners.

Here’s a glance at this episode:

[01:09] Should sex come naturally?

[02:09] What does natural even mean?

[04:48] Initiation 

[06:44] Natural always changes

[10:02] Having sex like in the movies

[12:07] Natural sex takes away individuality

[15:46] The idea of natural sex ignores safety

[19:31] Natural sex distances us from our own sexuality

[22:13] Natural sex also distances us from each other

[25:51] Nothing in life happens naturally

[29:28] Listener question: Sex use to feel naturally at the beginning of our relationship but it doesn’t anymore

[31:58] Listener question: Sex may not always happen naturally, but I hate the idea of scheduling sex

[32:50] Listener question: I have been in a relationship for 5 years; I feel like by now he should know what I like.

[37:04] Outro

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