If You Have To Ask, Does It Even Count?

February 17, 2022


You wish your partner would do something thoughtful for you, and you definitely DON’T want to have to ask them to do it — because if you did, it wouldn’t really count as something thoughtful anymore! Right?!

This episode is the remedy for this all-too-common complaint. We’re giving you steps to take toward more intentional, joyful moments for both you and your partner.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Whether we think it counts if you have to ask
  • Why you may not be noticing each other’s efforts
  • Actionable steps to take if this is an issue in your relationship
  • How to ask for what you want from your partner

Here’s a glance at this episode:

[00:43] The inspiration for today’s episode

[06:52] Instagram polls and why we’re going to protest Hollywood!

[11:34] We get right down to it: does it count if you have to ask?

[13:46] Is it needy or embarrassing to ask for things?

[15:01] “Shouldn’t my partner just KNOW this about me? Haven’t I asked for this before?”

[17:19] How the “it doesn’t count if you have to ask” mentality can affect your partner

[19:36] Why you might be missing each other’s efforts and how this has come up in our relationship

[22:24] Some practical things you can do if this is coming up for you and your partner

[27:40] Screw the word “naturally”!

[29:10] How to ask for what you want from your partner

[35:40] A cheat code if you’re craving the element of surprise

[37:57] The exception we HAVE to talk about

[39:01] Some stories from our Instagram community

[42:28] Listener Question: “It’s frustrating when he doesn’t show appreciation when I explicitly ask.”

[45:02] Listener Question: “How do I get my partner to make long-term changes with this?”

[46:23] Listener Question: “What if I can tell my partner really hates what I ask for?”

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