If You Have To Ask, Does It Even Count?

February 17, 2022

#39

You wish your partner would do something thoughtful for you, and you definitely DON’T want to have to ask them to do it — because if you did, it wouldn’t really count as something thoughtful anymore! Right?!

This episode is the remedy for this all-too-common complaint. We’re giving you steps to take toward more intentional, joyful moments for both you and your partner.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Whether we think it counts if you have to ask
  • Why you may not be noticing each other’s efforts
  • Actionable steps to take if this is an issue in your relationship
  • How to ask for what you want from your partner

Here’s a glance at this episode:

[00:43] The inspiration for today’s episode

[06:52] Instagram polls and why we’re going to protest Hollywood!

[11:34] We get right down to it: does it count if you have to ask?

[13:46] Is it needy or embarrassing to ask for things?

[15:01] “Shouldn’t my partner just KNOW this about me? Haven’t I asked for this before?”

[17:19] How the “it doesn’t count if you have to ask” mentality can affect your partner

[19:36] Why you might be missing each other’s efforts and how this has come up in our relationship

[22:24] Some practical things you can do if this is coming up for you and your partner

[27:40] Screw the word “naturally”!

[29:10] How to ask for what you want from your partner

[35:40] A cheat code if you’re craving the element of surprise

[37:57] The exception we HAVE to talk about

[39:01] Some stories from our Instagram community

[42:28] Listener Question: “It’s frustrating when he doesn’t show appreciation when I explicitly ask.”

[45:02] Listener Question: “How do I get my partner to make long-term changes with this?”

[46:23] Listener Question: “What if I can tell my partner really hates what I ask for?”

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