How To Get Out Of (And Prevent) Dry Spells

April 21,2022

Can’t remember the last time you had sex?

Or maybe you remember the exact day and it’s been… too long.

It’s time to talk about one of the most-dreaded issues that comes up in relationships… DRY SPELLS!

You might find yourself wondering if there’s an end in sight. Has your relationship cooled off for good? When you do have sex again, is it going to be awkward or bad, leading to yet another dry spell? Or maybe you’re scaring yourself because you don’t even miss having sex at all!

Dry spells can send you to some really dark places, but we’re here to tell you: there is hope!

In this episode, we’re giving you five tips for combatting dry spells, no matter your circumstance.

We’re also talking about preventing this issue, so even if you’re not in a dry spell right now, you don’t want to miss this episode!

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Here’s a glance at this episode:

[00:46] Wet facts!

[03:15] How much of our audience has experienced a dry spell? You don’t want to miss this stat

[08:40] Why dry spells are so scary

[09:53] What IS a dry spell? Instagram answers, “How long is your longest dry spell?”

[13:26] How shame prevents couples from working their way back to each other

[14:15] Why do dry spells happen in the first place? Instagram gives us their most common reasons

[19:50] What keeps a dry spell going?

[22:07] Sexual inertia: an object at rest stays at rest

[24:08] Five steps for getting out of a dry spell

[27:21] Why it’s so important to talk about why you want emotional intimacy

[28:18] A script for how to acknowledge your dry spell

[33:47] How to start touching each other more, and why it shouldn’t always lead to sex

[36:19] Easing back into sex (and ignoring the first pancake)

[41:35] Preventing future dry spells

Links & resources

Episode 38: You Want Connection, Your Partner Wants Sex. Who Comes First?

Bring Your Sex Life Back To Life

Foreplay Guides

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I'm Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and writer specializing in helping you have more fun in the bedroom.

I have bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. I’m also a licensed psychotherapist. I’ve been working in the sex therapy field since 2002 and have been featured by The New York Times, O: The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, and many more.

If you’re interested in improving your sex life, you can work with me via my online courses or personal coaching sessions. I look forward to supporting you in creating the sex life you’ve always wanted!