The Art of Flirting (In a Long Term Relationship)

May 12,2022

“Why should I have to flirt with my partner? We’ve been together forever!”

A lot of us in long-term relationships feel hesitant to flirt with our partner. It feels awkward, clunky, or just plain unnecessary.

But flirting is an amazing way to ignite that spark you once had and remind you of those exciting early days of your relationship.

Most importantly: flirting can make both of you feel SO good about the way you see each other.

We know it can feel daunting to flirt with your partner, especially if you’re out of practice or don’t consider yourself good at it, so we’re doing a whole episode on exactly how to flirt.

Even if you feel like flirting “isn’t for me” or doesn’t come naturally to you, we promise that this episode will boost your confidence and have you trying out some new techniques ASAP — and don’t blame us if things get a little sweeter (and spicier)! 😉

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Here’s a glance at this episode:

[00:43] Vanessa medals gold in The Pick-Up Line Olympics

[02:35] We talk about what our relationship would be like if we didn’t flirt

[09:22] Why do I have to flirt with my partner? What if flirting isn’t “me”?

[11:15] Instagram answers “Do you flirt in your LTR” and “Do you wish there was more flirting in your relationship?”

[15:01] The start of our flirting tips! First up, we’re talking about flirty communication

[17:29] Our favorite sexting resource (sexting was the most popular way to flirt on Instagram)

[22:16] How to give a REALLY good compliment

[26:16] The art of the physical flirt ;) and some ideas for touching your partner from Instagram

[31:09] Why it can be so impactful to “look your best” for your partner sometimes, and why it’s important to compliment your partner when they’re not looking their best

[35:16] Clive Bixby and Vanessa’s stranger fantasy (Xander may or may not be into it)

[37:03] Our challenge to you after listening to this episode — it’s not hard but it will probably have a big impact!

[37:39] Listener Question #1: How do I ask my partner to flirt with ME?

[38:54] Listener Question #2: How to make flirting natural and not feel forced?

[40:56] Listener Question #3: Is flirting with someone outside of your relationship cheating?

[45:33] Listener Question #4: Should flirting with your partner only be done in private to avoid making other people feel uncomfortable?

[47:51] Listener Question #5: How do I ask my partner to flirt with me differently, or in a way that I like?

Links & resources

Free guide: What’s Your Sex Drive Type?

Guide: Dirty Talk Guide

Free guide: 10 Great Compliments To Give Your Partner

Podcast Episode: Episode 18 — How to Get That New Relationship Energy Back

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HI THERE!

I'm Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and writer specializing in helping you have more fun in the bedroom.

I have bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. I’m also a licensed psychotherapist. I’ve been working in the sex therapy field since 2002 and have been featured by The New York Times, O: The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, and many more.

If you’re interested in improving your sex life, you can work with me via my online courses or personal coaching sessions. I look forward to supporting you in creating the sex life you’ve always wanted!