Is This Your Shit Or Mine?

June 23,2022

“Should I have to stop hanging out with my ex because my girlfriend said so?”

“Is it my husband’s job to say something to my rude in-laws?”

We’re answering these spicy questions and many more in today’s episode of Pillow Talks!

Most of us get annoyed by things our partner says or does — but is it their problem, or ours? Is it their responsibility to fix, or is it something we need to learn how to live with? Today we’re answering the question, “Is this your shit or mine?”

Here’s a glance at this episode:

[00:50] Xander tells Vanessa what she’s done to annoy him today, and we talk about how this episode came about

[06:32] Our first “your shit or mine” question. This one has to do with going to sleep at the same time as your partner

[12:12] “My partner has gained weight and I’m not feeling as attracted to them.”

[18:20] “When I go #2, it doesn’t always flush down everything. Am I responsible to stay and flush until it all goes down?!”

[20:04] “My husband gets very affected by my tone of voice…99% of the time I don’t mean anything by it…[he] wants me to ‘learn a lesson’.”

[29:48] “I’m good friends with one of my exes…my partner has gone so far as to ask me to end the friendship.”

[35:00] “My husband’s parents are borderline homophobic and often make rude comments to me…my husband won’t step in and say anything.”

[39:46] “Constant farting and burping. Normal bodily functions, but lack of manners.”

[42:40] Xander gets honest about his efforts to not burp and fart in front of Vanessa, and vice versa!

Links & resources

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I'm Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and writer specializing in helping you have more fun in the bedroom.

I have bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. I’m also a licensed psychotherapist. I’ve been working in the sex therapy field since 2002 and have been featured by The New York Times, O: The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, and many more.

If you’re interested in improving your sex life, you can work with me via my online courses or personal coaching sessions. I look forward to supporting you in creating the sex life you’ve always wanted!