Are You Roommates or Romantic Partners?

August 11,2022

Are you worried you’ve lost the spark in your relationship? We asked our Instagram audience, and the numbers were shocking! A whopping 91% said their relationship has gone through a Roommates Phase, and 46% said they’re in one right now.

So why does it seem like no one is talking about the Roommates Phase?

In this episode we do a deep dive into what the Roommates Phase means, and how to get out of it before it’s too late. Let us help you end the drought and get back that lovin’ feelin’!

(Psst – Xander even sings about it within the first four minutes of this episode…)

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Here’s a glance at this episode:

[2:25] The definition of the Roommates Phase

[10:42] It may be common but the pain is valid

[14:16] Top reasons why the Roommate Phase happens

[17:23] Sometimes it all comes down to science, baby

[19:37] Was it good for you? Let’s talk about it

[23:10] The four steps to get out of the Roommates Phase

[25:36] Xander talks accountability

[29:55] How to get ready and feel fully prepared

[37:01] End the dry spell and get back into the swing of things

[43:55] Listener Question #1: “How do you know you are starting to veer into this phase?”

[46:42] Listener Question #2: “It seems like we go through this every year or two, how do we get out of that cycle?”

[49:00] Listener Question #3: “How to remove shame or finger-pointing when bringing up the subject of the roommate phase?”

[51:03] Listener Question #4: “How do you get daily affection back without it feeling like a task to check off?”

Links & resources

Survivor’s Guide Milf’s, Dilfs, & Pilfs

Episode 48: How To Get Out of (and Prevent) Dry Spells

Mental Load Workbook

Foreplay Guides

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I'm Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and writer specializing in helping you have more fun in the bedroom.

I have bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. I’m also a licensed psychotherapist. I’ve been working in the sex therapy field since 2002 and have been featured by The New York Times, O: The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, and many more.

If you’re interested in improving your sex life, you can work with me via my online courses or personal coaching sessions. I look forward to supporting you in creating the sex life you’ve always wanted!