Have you heard of The Bristle Reaction? We recently made a TikTok about this term that Vanessa created, and 8 million people watched! The Bristle Reaction is when your partner comes in for a hug or a kiss, and you feel yourself recoil. No matter how much you love your partner, there are times when their touch can immediately create a sense of tension.

We polled our Instagram audience and found out 84% of people have experienced The Bristle Reaction. Even though it’s so common, most people have no idea what to do about it. In fact, that’s been the main comment on our viral TikTok: “How do we fix it?”

So strap in, because we’ve got what you need! We go through the 3 major reasons why The Bristle Reaction happens, and 6 ways to overcome it. If you’re ready to start enjoying your partner’s touch again, this episode is a must-listen!

Here’s a glance at this episode:

[1:15] We have a TikTok?

[11:19] Playing the name game

[15:57] Being touched out is a distant cousin/gateway drug

[18:09] Don’t confuse it with “the ick”

[21:23] Cause #1 – me no likey

[23:15] The novelty of boobs

[26:46] The timing of your touch

[30:07] Obligation shouldn’t be an option

[34:00] Cause #2 – this only leads to one thing

[36:09] Cause #3 – there has to be another way

[37:30] The gender imbalance

[41:06] Where else are you allowed to say “no?”

[42:18] The male porcupine

[48:38] What do we do to fix this? Option #1 is to learn what you don’t know

[52:13] What do we do to fix this? Option #2 is to set a boundary

[55:04] What do we do to fix this? Option #3 is to unify the team

[57:52] What do we do to fix this? Option #4 is to create new opportunities

[1:00:03] What do we do to fix this? Option #5 is to be clear and direct

[1:01:01] What do we do to fix this? Option #6 is to pull the skeleton from the closet

[1:02:22] Endurance is mutually assured destruction

Links & resources

Our Book: Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life

Guide: Initiation 101

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