Are You Up For This Challenge? (Plus PRIZES)
Last week, I shared a video with you of my mom and I talking about orgasm for the very first time.
This week, I want to challenge you to talk about female orgasm. And I’m going to reward you for it!
It is so important that we normalize female orgasm, and make it a topic that we can talk about as freely as we talk about where we want to go on our next vacation (Chile!) or what we’d like to eat for dinner (tacos!).
The first step to changing how we talk about female orgasm as a society is changing how we talk about it with those closest to us.
So, if you’re a woman, are you up for having a conversation with another woman – a friend or family member about female orgasm?
(Guys: we’ll have something for you later about how to bring up orgasm. For now, this is about women feeling more comfortable talking about orgasm.)
Even if orgasm isn’t a challenge for you, personally, having these kinds of conversations is a way that you can help other women feel less alone, and create a world where this isn’t a taboo topic.
I know that what I’m asking you to do is vulnerable, so I want to support you by giving you specific ideas and prompts to get you started!
Ways to initiate the conversation:
- “I want to talk to you about something that we’ve never talked about before. It’s a sensitive subject, but I’m trying to be brave because I think it’s important for us as a society to get better at talking about this. Would you be open to talking to me about female orgasm?”
- “So, I’ve been following this sex therapist online, and she just put out this challenge for people to have a conversation with a friend or family member about female orgasm. I realized that, as close as we are, we’ve never talked about this before! I know it’s vulnerable, but can we talk about it?”
- “You know what’s crazy? How hard it is to talk about orgasm, even though it’s such a normal and natural part of life. We should try to change that!”
Possible questions to ask:
- “What were you taught about female orgasm when you were a kid/growing up?”
- “How did those lessons affect you as an adult?”
- “What do you wish you had been taught?”
- “If you could have ‘the talk’ again, what do you think you would say?” (You could ask this to your parent. Or you could ask someone what they would have wanted to hear from their parent, or what they wish they said to their kid.)
- “Why do you think so many women struggle with their orgasms?”
- “What would you say to a woman who is struggling with having orgasms and feeling like she deserves them?”
If you feel open to asking more personal questions, here are some options. (Remind your loved one that they can always “pass” on a specific question if they don’t want to answer.):
- “Do you think your sex life has been balanced in terms of pleasure?”
- “Do you ever feel shame about your pleasure or your orgasm?”
- “Have you ever had a period of your life where orgasm was or is a challenge for you?”
- “If you felt fully comfortable with your orgasm, how do you think that would change your life?”
I know that these are vulnerable conversations, so I also wanted to do something extra special to reward you for your bravery…
We’re holding a contest! With prizes!
Here’s how it works:
- Have a conversation with one of your loved ones about female orgasm.
- Write down the most interesting or touching part of the conversation. This can be as short or as long as you want! (For example, I would write, “My mom told me she wants me to love myself, and know that I deserve to experience pleasure and connection.)
- Take a picture of yourself holding up a sign that says “I talked to my parent/sibling/friend about female orgasm!” If you want to stay anonymous, you can hold the sign over your face, like this:
- DM me on Instagram with your picture and story.
- I’ll be accepting entries until Thursday, the 24th at 11:59pm Pacific.
- I’ll randomly choose three winners to each get a luxury sex toy!
(A few important notes: Your information will be kept strictly confidential. Winners will be notified privately. Due to customs restrictions, the toys are only available to people living in the U.S. If you win and you live abroad, we’ll arrange a different prize!)