Welcome to Reader’s Request Fridays! This week I have a question from Bethany*, who wrote to me asking for some input about the difference between in-person and video chat sex therapy sessions. Bethany was trying to decide if video chat sessions were appropriate for her, and wanted more information about how they work.

It’s a question that I frequently get asked, so I thought it would make a perfect Reader’s Request Fridays topic!

If you’re considering video chat sex therapy, here are some things to keep in mind:  

 

How video chat sex therapy works:

The first step is scheduling a day and time that works for both of us. I use Google Hangouts video chat for my services, so I make sure that you have a Gmail account and direct you to the Hangouts plug in (most accounts already have it installed). I collect payment before the first session using Venmo, an electronic payments service. At our pre-arranged time, I initiate a video chat over Hangouts, and we talk for 50 minutes. The usual rules of my sex therapy sessions apply, so there’s no sexual contact or nudity that takes place during the video chat. We keep it professional! (If you’re interested in more information about what to expect from sex therapy, check out an article I wrote on this subject here).

 

 

The pros of video chat:

 

Convenience

Video chat sex therapy sessions can be far more convenient than in-person sessions. You can participate in the session from your own home, so there’s no worrying about traveling, finding parking, or getting to the office in time. We can also work together if you’re not in San Francisco, or if you’re traveling.

Privacy

Many of my clients appreciate the extra privacy that video chats provide, especially when we’re talking about a topic as sensitive as sex. Coming in for in-person sessions can feel quite vulnerable, and video chats often feel more comfortable. I try my best to make my sessions as welcoming and relaxed as possible, but I also understand that sex is hard to talk about openly. I love that video chat allows me to work with clients who would have been too nervous to come in for in-person sex therapy!

Greater opportunity for reflection

You can make a nice routine out of video chat sex therapy sessions. A number of my clients start journaling right after their sessions end. They don’t have to travel to work or back home, so they have the opportunity to reflect on the session and take notes for the week ahead. Many of my clients have reported that this helps them get much more out of our time together.

Comfort

It’s really nice to be able to have a sex therapy session while you’re in your own home! You can stay in your PJs, curl up on the sofa, and sip tea out of your favorite mug.

Flexibility

I can offer a wider variety of session times for clients who want to work over video chat. I also have a 24-hour cancellation policy for video chat sessions, as opposed to my 48-hour policy for in-person work.

 

 

The cons of video chat:

 

Feeling disconnected

As sophisticated as video technology is these days, it’s still not the same as sitting in the same room with another person. Not everyone likes the feel of video chatting, and some people just prefer being in-person.

Distractions

If you have kids, roommates, noisy pets, or a lack of privacy, video chat can be difficult. Some people find that being in their own homes creates too many distractions.

Technical difficulties

The vast majority of my video chat sex therapy sessions proceed without a hitch, but there’s always the opportunity for things to go awry. The internet can always cut out, or the video chat can get disconnected. There can be lags between audio and video, or the video can get blurry.

 

Personally, I love working over video chat, and I feel confident offering this service to my clients. The format works well for me, but most importantly, my clients have reported that they like video chat as much if not more as in-person sex therapy. Interested in giving video chat sex therapy a shot? Book an appointment right away here!

 

* Names changed for privacy

Please note that this article addresses sex therapy, not traditional psychotherapy. There are rules and restrictions that accompany the use of video chat for psychotherapy sessions, so I only offer traditional psychotherapy with clients living in California, with whom I have an established therapeutic relationship.