All about roleplaying: why to do it, who to roleplay, and how to do it

November 03,2020

Happy – almost – Halloween! 

In honor of one of my favorite holidays, we’re going to be talking about role-playing today!

Why you should roleplay

Just like dressing up in costume for Halloween, role-playing can be a lot of fun because it allows you to temporarily take on a new personality. 

You can be a baseball player who just won the World Series, a powerful CEO, or an innocent tutor. You could be bossy, confident, or submissive. 

Just like with any other type of fantasy, role-playing can be as vanilla or as kinky as you want it to be. 

This is something that a lot of people misunderstand. They think role-playing needs to involve an elaborate set-up with scenes, props, and costumes. And that sounds like a lot of work! 

Plus the chance for embarrassment is high if you go to all this effort to set up a complex scenario, only to discover you’re not really that into pretending to be a pirate and wench. 

If you’re into elaborate role-playing, that’s great! 

But if you’re not, that’s fine too! Your role-play can be as simple as talking a little more than you usually do, or wearing some lingerie, or making a few silly jokes about a pizza delivery guy. 

Roleplaying can also bring you and your partner closer together! It’s basically the adult version of playing. And just like playing with our friends as kids brought us closer together, playing with our partner can deepen intimacy!

Who to roleplay

Need some inspiration? Here’s a list of great role-playing ideas:

How to roleplay

Once you’ve decided on your role-play scenario, here are some ways to play:

OK, so now that we’re done with our month of fantasy, what did you think? Are you going to start incorporating more fantasy into your sex life? Is there something still holding you back? Reply to this email and let me know!


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I'm Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and writer specializing in helping you have more fun in the bedroom.

I have bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. I’m also a licensed psychotherapist. I’ve been working in the sex therapy field since 2002 and have been featured by The New York Times, O: The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, and many more.

If you’re interested in improving your sex life, you can work with me via my online courses or personal coaching sessions. I look forward to supporting you in creating the sex life you’ve always wanted!