Happy – almost – Halloween! 

In honor of one of my favorite holidays, we’re going to be talking about role-playing today!

Why you should roleplay

Just like dressing up in costume for Halloween, role-playing can be a lot of fun because it allows you to temporarily take on a new personality. 

You can be a baseball player who just won the World Series, a powerful CEO, or an innocent tutor. You could be bossy, confident, or submissive. 

Just like with any other type of fantasy, role-playing can be as vanilla or as kinky as you want it to be. 

This is something that a lot of people misunderstand. They think role-playing needs to involve an elaborate set-up with scenes, props, and costumes. And that sounds like a lot of work! 

Plus the chance for embarrassment is high if you go to all this effort to set up a complex scenario, only to discover you’re not really that into pretending to be a pirate and wench. 

If you’re into elaborate role-playing, that’s great! 

But if you’re not, that’s fine too! Your role-play can be as simple as talking a little more than you usually do, or wearing some lingerie, or making a few silly jokes about a pizza delivery guy. 

Roleplaying can also bring you and your partner closer together! It’s basically the adult version of playing. And just like playing with our friends as kids brought us closer together, playing with our partner can deepen intimacy!

Who to roleplay

Need some inspiration? Here’s a list of great role-playing ideas:

• If you’ve never roleplayed before, or feel shy about it, try role-playing yourself, but with 50% more confidence.
• A more innocent version of yourself.
• A Halloween character, like a pirate, Cleopatra, or Tarzan.
• Strangers. Pretend to meet each other for the first time. 
• People you already know, like your mysterious neighbors. 
• Your favorite character from a book, TV, movie.
• Role-play your partner, and have them role-play you!
• A different gender identity or sexuality.
• A power dynamic, like boss and employee, doctor and patient, or teacher and student.
• A client/customer dynamic, like masseuse, personal trainer, housekeeper, gardener, handyman/handywoman, and client. 

How to roleplay

Once you’ve decided on your role-play scenario, here are some ways to play:

• Text or email with your partner to get into character. Some people find it a lot easier to role-play over text. Introduce yourself, then talk dirty about what you want to do to (or with) your partner later. 
• Or you can role-play exclusively via text. It can be really hot to pretend to go about your day normally, but be texting each other as different characters on the sly.
• Take your role-playing public. Have a “first date” where you role-play your new personalities.
• Your Halloween costume can do double-duty as a role-playing costume. You can be the same character, or you can use elements of your costume to create a new character.
• Set up a scene with props. For example, if you’re role-playing a naughty masseuse and their client, you can set up a massage table, play relaxing music, and turn down the lights.
• Be goofy about it! So many people think they have to be serious with role playing. But you can have just as much fun being silly or campy.
• Come up with a full story and game plan beforehand. That way you won’t have to worry about what to do in the moment. For example, you can decide that the “pool boy” is going to knock on his employer’s  side door, and apologetically beg for a cup of water. You’ll make small talk for a few minutes, then the employer will ask the pool boy to help with a favor upstairs in the bedroom. 

OK, so now that we’re done with our month of fantasy, what did you think? Are you going to start incorporating more fantasy into your sex life? Is there something still holding you back? Reply to this email and let me know!