While the holidays can be a time of joy and celebration for many people, these few weeks are usually horrible for couples’ sex lives! With all the travel, stress, family dynamics, eating and drinking, cold weather blues, and busy schedules, it can be tricky to make time to even connect with your partner, let alone be intimate. I’ve had people tell me they just give up on the very idea of sex for the entire month of December!
This time of year does pose some special challenges, but here are my top tips for keeping it sexy during the holidays:
Have sex before any big plans
Call it a pre-emptive strike! If you know your regular schedule is going to be thrown off, try to make it a priority to create time for intimacy before things get crazy.
If you’re traveling for the holidays, spend the week leading up to your departure carving out time for sex. If you always have a huge holiday meal, get naked before your belly is uncomfortably distended. If you’re going out to a New Years Eve party, get it on before hitting the town and getting tipsy.
It will make your celebrations all the more enjoyable if you go into them with a lovely post-coital hormone rush.
Get creative
If you’re staying with relatives for the holidays, or are hosting people at your place, it’s easy to feel that you need to put a ban on any sexual behavior. Of course every family has its own set of rules and expectations, but you may be able to brainstorm a few fun and sneaky ways to have intimate contact with your partner during your trip.
Run out to a nearby park to have a makeout session. Take your car to you hometown’s Lover’s Lane. Stroke each other’s hands under the dining room table. Come up with a code word that means “meet me out back for a quick makeout fest.” Squeeze your partner’s butt when no one is watching. Compete with each other over who can be the quietest during sex.
Make your lover feel like your partner in crime in trying to squeeze in these little moments of connection.
Make time to connect with your partner in other ways
We can all get swept up in spending lots of time with friends and family during the holidays. Having that much connection is wonderful, especially when it’s with people you don’t get to see regularly.
That being said, it’s important to keep making time for your partner during all the festivities.
Go on a little weekend getaway together. If you’re staying with friends or family members, go on short walks together. Offer to be the ones to run out to the store for some last-minute ingredients. Feign headaches and stay behind when there’s a group activity that doesn’t interest you. Head off to your bedroom early, and spend a few minutes checking in about your day.
Practice moderation with eating and drinking
It’s easy to lose all self control around all the delicious holiday treats and libations. I’m not a health coach, so I’m not going to tell you to avoid carbs or limit yourself to one alcoholic beverage per hour.
What I can tell you is that nothing kills the mood faster than indigestion, gas, bloating, or intoxication. Try to picture yourself getting into bed with your partner at the end of the evening, and pace yourself!
Exchange sexy gifts
The holidays don’t have to be completely sexless! You and your partner can make a new holiday tradition where you exchange X-rated gifts.
Check out my gift guides for some sexy gifts to share with your partner this holiday season:
If you’re not into giving gifts, try making sex New Years resolutions for 2017!
Enjoy the sexual tension
Sometimes there is just not the time or space to connect sexually, despite your best efforts.
If that’s the case for you, try to reframe this time of year as a tease! Instead of forcing yourself to think about baseball or take cold showers, let yourself feel into what it’s like to desire your partner, while knowing that you can’t have him or her.
Finally being able to be intimate once things have settled back to normal will be the most amazing rush!
Happy Holidays everyone!
