When my clients come in for sex therapy, I usually end up recommending that they engage in more self care.

What is self care?

It’s taking the time to treat yourself kindly and generously. It means consciously setting the intention to do things for yourself.

It’s a reflection of the value you place on yourself.

Self care behaviors can range from very small, like getting a really good cup of coffee, to very big, like deciding to make a career change.

Self care is important for so many reasons; it keeps you healthy and sane, helps you relax, recharges you, gets you in touch with your needs, and boosts your confidence and self-worth.

Self care seems to fall in the same arena as exercise or meditation: it’s something most of us have a hard time doing, even though we know how good it is for us.

People have a lot of different reasons why they don’t take good care of themselves; many people suffer from a lack of time, money, resources, or even cultural support of self-care.

Others may prioritize different activities, like work, family obligations, domestic work, or child care.

Many people, women in particular, have a hard time spending time and money on themselves.

And so many of us simply don’t do it, even if we do have the space for it.

I can give you all the reasons in the world why you should make time for self care, but at the end of the day I can’t be the one to push you into actually doing it.

Instead, I decided to offer some suggestions for simple ways to take care of yourself. Hopefully something on this list will inspire you to make a little time to treat yourself well. You deserve it!

• Get a massage
• Take a nap
• Have a long phone call with a friend
• Call in sick to work and spend the day doing what you actually feel like doing
• Go to a movie by yourself
• Take a bath or a long shower
• Buy yourself a gift
• Take yourself out to dinner
• Touch yourself gently
• Create affirmations for yourself
• Watch a guilty-pleasure TV show
• Sit alone in a quiet room
• Attend a community meeting
• Take a class in something that has always interested you
• Go to a spiritual or religious event
• Work out
• Dance
• Masturbate
• Prepare yourself an elaborate meal
• Read a book
• Write in a journal
• Go on a getaway
• Lounge around in a really comfortable outfit
• Light good-smelling candles
• Play your favorite music
• Go to a therapy session