I make no secret of the fact that I’ve been obsessed with the sex therapy field for a very long time. I’ve always been fascinated by people’s relationships with their sexualities, and I’ve never doubted that it was my path in life to help others become more comfortable with sex. I have been able to approach my work with my clients with curiosity, an open mind, a willingness to experiment with new solutions, and the whole-hearted belief that this work is valuable.

That being said, I recognize that not everyone shares my gung-ho attitudes about sex therapy. Sex can be extremely intimidating for a lot of people, especially when things aren’t as you’d like them to be.

Acknowledging that you’re struggling with some aspect of your sexuality can be really freaking scary. I get nervous calls and emails on a daily basis. I know that those of you who do pick up the phone or draft the email are already taking a hugely brave step, and that there are many more of you still working up the courage to reach out.

I do my best to calm and reassure people when they contact me, but today I want to go one step further. I want to let you know that not only is sex therapy a lot less scary than you may think, but it can actually be an awful lot of fun.

I’m not trying to sugar-coat things here; sexual issues can be complex, and there may be aspects of your experiences that are painful to talk about. Sometimes there is hard work to be done. But there’s also a lot of enjoyment and excitement to be had too.

Feeling a little doubtful? Here are some of the ways that my brand of sex therapy can be remarkably fun:

 

I give you some pretty awesome homework assignments

I know the words “homework” and “assignment” don’t usually sound enticing, but I create my Sexperiments to be as engaging and enlivening as possible. You might be asked to spend an entire day pampering yourself, or practice touching your partner more sensually.

 

You’ll get to learn and try new things

Novelty truly is the spice of life, and it’s one of the best ways to keep the spark alive in a long-term relationship. Practicing new techniques might seem a bit intimidating at first, but when you get into the experimental mindset, you realize how much fun it is to learn.

 

Sex therapy gets you more in tune with your body

Most of us live in our heads 95% of the time, and very few people have had the experience of actually feeling connected to their bodies.

Take a second right now and ask yourself, “Do I feel comfortable in my own skin? Do I know what it’s like to feel like I am in my body instead of in my head?”

If this concept seems foreign to you, don’t worry. The process of connecting to your body is one of the most amazing experiences. You won’t believe how good it feels to be fully present inside of your own skin.

 

You’ll get to spend more time truly connecting with your partner

We all have the tendency to get overly busy and engrossed with our responsibilities. We quite frequently go into autopilot mode with our partners, and our romantic relationships can become more like glorified roommates or comfortable friendships.

So many of the couples I’ve worked with have said that having an hour each week to talk about their relationship was more fun than they had ever imagined. Slowing down, recommitting to your relationship, and practicing being more present with each other is pretty close to as good as it gets.

 

Sex therapy helps you bring more pleasure and enjoyment into your life

I work with a wide variety of sexual issues, but the heart of so much of what I do lies in helping people embrace the concept of pleasure.

It’s amazing how many of us have lives that are completely devoid of pleasure. We’re too overworked, stressed out, anxious, and busy to even think of whether or not we’re actually enjoying our days.

I help my clients get comfortable with their own pleasure, feel confident seeking it out, and create the space for it. Learning how to bring more pleasure into your life is pretty great because it means (drumroll please…) that you’re going to start feeling more pleasure.

 

You’ll get more in tune with what you want

So many of us struggle with knowing what it is we want, from deciding what sounds good at a restaurant to knowing which sexual position to try out next. Tired of saying, “I don’t know” or “whatever you want”? Being able to confidently declare “I want ___ “ will be such an exciting revelation.

 

Having great sex is amazing

For most people, one of the end goals of sex therapy is to have sex that feels playful, connected, intimate, and pleasurable. It can be easy to lose sight of that goal when you’re coming in with complicated relationship problems or a sexual issue you’ve been avoiding for years. When all of your recent experiences with it have been awful, you start to forget how incredible of an experience sex can be.

Take a minute right now to let yourself think about what your sex life could be like if you felt less embarrassed and anxious, and more confident, creative, and connected to your body. Picture yourself having the kind of sex that feels so good it makes you want to yell from the rooftops, “I just had great sex!!!”

Yes, it can be that good.

 

When you work with me, you get a therapist who values fun!

I think a lot of people can feel intimidated by therapists. You may picture the stodgy, poker-faced psychoanalyst or the hippie, New Agey coach.

I do my best to challenge those stereotypes and show my clients that I am a real person. I know that I’m not the right therapist for everyone, so I put more of myself out there than most therapists because I want to attract the kinds of clients that vibe with my unique approach.

I love my job, I love this field, and I love helping my clients create meaningful changes. I’m a pretty easy and engaging person to talk to. I’m good at balancing the serious moments with the light-hearted ones. I’m curious and creative, and I’m completely devoid of judgment. I’ve got a sense of humor, and I genuinely believe that sex therapy can be enjoyable.

 

Ready to bring more fun to your sex life? Sign up for one of my Sexploration Sessions or my Pleasure Principles program!