For a good laugh, check out Buzzfeed’s compilation of 23 Truly Terrible Sex Tips, culled primarily from the pages of Cosmopolitan and Men’s Health.

While I can appreciate the magazines’ attempts to help their readers have more interesting and satisfying sex lives, some of the “tips” are laugh-out-loud funny.

Many of these suggestions seem to have been made without having been tested by an editor or intern (the pepper one is a prime example!). Others are actually so bad that they risk injury (twisting a penis like a lid).

I wholeheartedly encourage playfulness, creativity, and even silliness when it comes to sex, but please don’t ever attempt an “Intimate Chinese Burn” (that is, unless your partner really wants one!)

Some standouts from the list:

“Sprinkle a little pepper under his nose right before he climaxes.” Logistically awkward, and ineffective to boot!

“Make two fists around [the] shaft and twist them in opposite directions as fast as you can.” While it’s true that many women treat the penis more delicately than necessary, twisting hard and fast in opposite directions can create an immense amount of pain.

“Feed each other ice cream in the dark. Not being able to see means more spilling, which means more licking up the mess.” Also means filthy sheets and ruined mattresses!