Most of us know that we have pretty bad cell phone habits, but we tend to shrug off the actual impact of our behaviors. “Oh yeah, I’m addicted,” we’ll say, while laughing.

Not many of us recognize that our habits are causing real damage to our relationships. Constant cell phone usage makes it difficult to connect with our partners. It gets in the way of real-world communication, and hinders quality time. It interrupts, and even prevents, sex!

My husband and I are usually pretty good about our phone etiquette, but I’ve definitely been known to check my phone while he’s talking to me. I’ve hurt his feelings with my inattention on more than one occasion. The sad thing is that I’m usually looking at dumb stuff, like emails announcing 40% off all sweaters, or the latest Buzzfeed list of cute animal photos.

I got the idea to write this post after I caught myself checking my cell phone immediately upon waking almost every day this week. It’s been a pretty jarring way to wake up, for a number of reasons, and I noticed that my husband and I wound up zoning out in front of our screens at the expense of taking the time to say good morning.

So this weekend, I offer you an opportunity to re-examine your cell phone usage. We tend to fall into bad habits pretty easily, so take a few minutes to think about how you’ve been slipping up with your cell phone over the last few weeks. Ask your partner if your relationship with your cell phone has been bothersome or frustrating in any way.

Then, if you’re up for the challenge, practice extremely good phone etiquette for one entire weekend. Here are your rules:

• At night, put your phone away, and spend a few minutes saying goodnight to your partner. Have that be the last thing you do before going to sleep.
• In the morning, take the time to cuddle with your partner before checking your cell phone.
• Whenever your spouse starts talking to you, put down your cell phone and look him or her in the eyes. Don’t pick your phone up again until the conversation is finished. If you’re in the middle of something important when your partner starts talking, it’s OK to politely ask for a minute to finish up on your phone.
• When you’re spending time with your partner, keep your phone in your pocket. Even during mundane activities like watching TV.
• This should go without saying, but no checking your phone during sex!
• After having sex, you’re not allowed to check your phone for 10 minutes.
• With your partner, brainstorm any additional rules based on your own relationship history.

And if you’re feeling brave, consider some of these extra strict guidelines:

• Keep your phone outside of the bedroom for the entire weekend.
• Make it a rule that you can only use your cell phone after announcing to your partner what you’re doing. This will cause you to evaluate your behaviors every single time you go to grab your phone. It will be easy to tell your partner, “I’m checking movie times for us”, but you might think twice about picking up your phone if you have to say, “hey, I’m going to look up my ex-girlfriend from high school on Facebook.”
• Turn the data on your phone off.
• Temporarily remove your work email account.
• Have a cell phone free day, or go for the whole weekend!

After the weekend is over, take a few minutes to check in with your partner about how the experiment went. How did the rules impact your relationship? What about your sex life? Do you want to keep any of the guidelines in place? You’re always free to make modifications to the rules so they feel more doable in the long run. Or you can do something like have a “good cell phone etiquette” weekend once a month.

Happy Sexperimenting!