Want to know Xander and my favorite “rule” for our sex life?

Fuck First! 

Advice columnist Dan Savage originally came up with this rule, which he defined as having sex before you go out to a fancy dinner date or big party, rather than waiting until you get home at the end of the night.

While Xander and I haven’t been going out for many dates or parties this last year, we’ve adapted Fuck First to mean having sex before dinner. 

Both Xander and I LOVE food. I try to remind myself to eat slowly and stop before I’m full, but if I’m eating something really good, it’s soooo easy for me to wind up feeling stuffed to the gills. 

And I have a pretty sensitive stomach, so restaurant takeout tends to bloat me and make me feel heavy and tired. 

If I eat a big or special meal, the likelihood of me wanting to have sex afterwards is extremely low! 

Have you ever tried to wriggle your way into tight, strappy lingerie when your belly is distended? 

Have you ever gotten the dreaded “Whiskey Dick” after one too many cocktails?

Have you ever desperately tried to hold back a fart while your partner was going down on you?

If so, then you would benefit from the Fuck First rule!

Obviously the logistics may be trickier or not always possible depending on individual circumstances. Everyone’s life looks different. 

But whenever you can, try to have sex as early as possible! 

Here are some creative ways to make it happen:

• Have sex first thing in the morning on date night.
• Or an afternoon delight. 
• Schedule sex.
• Have a quickie.
• If you usually default to intercourse, do something else like a handjob, blowjob, mutual masturbation session, or even a steamy makeout! 
• Let the kids watch TV and lock yourselves in your closet. 
• Ask the babysitter to take the kids to the park. (“So they don’t get upset watching us leave!” 😉)

So go ahead and Fuck First! It’s a great reminder to prioritize intimacy and connection!