What To Expect From Your First Sex Therapy Session

February 27,2018

Do you want to improve your sex life, but feel nervous about what sex therapy will actually be like? It’s my mission to make sex therapy much more mainstream, approachable, and straightforward.

Here’s exactly what you can expect from your first session.

Deciding if I’m the right sex therapist for you

I’m not a one-size-fits-all type of sex therapist, and you’re not a one-size-fits-all type of client. It’s important for it to feel like it is a good match between us!

You can get a better sense of who I am by poking around my website. (You can learn more about my story right here.) I’m compassionate, warm, and professional, but I also have a sense of humor. I’m there with you when things get emotional, and I might make you laugh when things are more light-hearted. I’m very enthusiastic about my work, and my passion tends to come across in session.

My particular brand of sex therapy focuses on giving you specific, concrete advice, exercises, and techniques. We don’t just talk about what’s going on; you’ll also get homework assignments and action items.

Our first appointment

If you decide to start phone or video chat coaching, I’ll send you a detailed questionnaire to complete before our first appointment. You’ll answer questions about your schedule, interests, and background, so I can get a sense of what your life looks like. The questionnaire also asks you to share the challenges you’re currently having and how they are affecting your life.

I’ll review your answers, and will prepare a customized session tailored to suit your questions and goals.

We’ll meet over the phone or video chat, and I’ll do my best to set you at ease right away! You’ll be in the comfort and privacy of your own home during the appointment, which also helps if you’re nervous.

I’ll take the lead during that first session. I like starting this way because it takes the pressure off you to figure out what to start talking about right off the bat. I know that the first appointment can be a little intimidating, so my goals is to make it as easy as possible for you!

I’ll ask you some follow-up questions, share my feedback from your answers to the questionnaire, and talk about strategies for making improvements. We’ll talk about your goals for moving forward, and what the next steps will be from there.

After the session, I’ll send you a long report with tons of suggestions and exercises tailored just for you. Like I said above, I’m very action-oriented, so you’ll get plenty of strategies to start trying right away. Examples can range from something as simple as doing one kind thing for yourself, to something more complex, like using a particular masturbation technique.

What’s next

Depending on your specific goals, you may only need one or two sessions. If you choose to have more sessions, we’ll start to explore your goals in further detail.

We’ll talk about the techniques that you tried out after the first session, and get a sense of what worked and what didn’t. We’ll make adjustments to the exercises, and give you some new ones to try. We’ll keep refining the techniques until you feel confident that you’re on the path towards lasting change!

Interested in getting started? Head on over here to book your appointment right now!


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I'm Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and writer specializing in helping you have more fun in the bedroom.

I have bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. I’m also a licensed psychotherapist. I’ve been working in the sex therapy field since 2002 and have been featured by The New York Times, O: The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, and many more.

If you’re interested in improving your sex life, you can work with me via my online courses or personal coaching sessions. I look forward to supporting you in creating the sex life you’ve always wanted!